C+C

New Year's Resolution 2012

2011-12-31T17:06:00.000-08:00

To write at least one blog. Done.I went an entire year without writing a blog. I'd like to say it was a spiritual discipline, but no, it's probably just because I was interacting on Facebook with everyone instead of here. Many things have changed in our lives in the year 2011, so I will try to recap the highlights. Perhaps noone reads this anymore (tends to happen when you don't write a thing!) so I'll do it for my sake if no one elses... Remembering where you've been, what you learned/experienced, and what you hope for is a big tool for growth. So, where did we leave off? 2011...

Skydiving in Hawaii

2010-11-24T11:11:00.000-08:00

I just found this photo and the corresponding video from last year in Oahu.

Definitely one of the best, and scariest, things I've ever done! But it was a bluebird day, and I distracted myself from thinking about my impending death, by looking out at luscious Kauai, the pristine beaches of North Shore and all of the LOST-esque scenery. Some of the LOST props were stored at my airfield where I jumped, which was a mega bonus to see.

I'm going to try to figure out how to post this video, so far, not so good. But I highly recommend skydiving to anyone who is thinking of it and is scared like I was! My instructor had jumped over 7000 times and his wife was in labor; he was planning to go to the hospital later that day with her, so I knew he wasn't afraid we'd die:)

King Ranch bust

2010-11-21T06:35:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning we attempted to make my two year long dream come true- going to the King Ranch Cowboy Breakfast. Alas, I didn't know HOW MANY PEOPLE HAD THE SAME DREAM AS ME!!!! This remarkable ranch is the size of the STATE of Rhode Island, and is only 45 minutes away from our house. Knowing that soon we will live in as opposite a culture to Texas as possible, I love exposing Claire to Western or Southern things and places and food. So we put on our boots and headed on down...

We got there at 9:30 (it is a once a year event that runs from 7-11 and Claire has a long mid-day nap); I thought that would be perfect timing. Little did I know that the 4 mile driveway into the ranch would be bumper to bumper, even that late into the event, and in one HOUR in the car, we'd only moved about 1/2 way into the ranch. The natives were getting restless in our car, and knowing that most of the food/activities would be over by the time we parked, I tucked my tail between my legs and turned my cowgirl boots around. We headed for a popular local diner instead, where we choked down everything Bob and Jillian would frown upon. I can't believe we will leave TX without me experiencing this! A lesson in dying to my expectations.

We had a great rest of the day and headed out to a beautiful beach house that our friends are renting in Port Aransas (I love hearing ocean waves from the deck!) I guess we'll have to pay to take a tour of King Ranch and go to their amazing Saddle Shop some day soon, when the rest of Texas isn't trying to go there also! Yeehaw.

My daughter the model...

2010-11-15T19:00:00.000-08:00

Claire does not really enjoy getting her photos taken and doesn't stay still for a second, but our talented friend Beth captured her well in San Antonio this weekend, for some 18 month photos. If you live in the San Antonio area, I HIGHLY commend her to you! Click HERE to see the preview. Claire was in love with Beth's first born, Carter, who was helping, by entertaining Claire. A perfect little photog assistant! Thank you Beth, Claire will model for you any time!!

San Antonio Rock and Roll weekend

2010-11-15T07:52:00.000-08:00

We had a fantastic weekend up in San Antonio. Thank you to the Anderson's, who opened their relaxing home up to us. Claire couldn't get enough of their backyard and play room... It made me long for the time where we can plant roots and have something like that. Some day, kiddo, some day.

We tried a couple new great restaurants, both of which had live music! La Focaccia on Saturday night, for Los to carb up. The Italian food was delicious. And Sunday night we went to The Cove, which is my idea of perfection: organic, yummy food, outdoor seating, a great bar, music and a kids playground. Something for everyone! Thank you to the Marqueses and Saxtons for suggesting such awesome places!

Claire had a great time playing with Carter and being a model for her mommy.

And Los did really well in the San Antonio half marathon. He got a 1:40 time, which is a good, consistent pace he needs for his upcoming Houston Marathon. He is going to break 4:00 this time (4th time's the charm!) And Claire and I liked all the live music. She was dancing a lot, and I tried to capture it a bit on my phone. Here they are after Los finished his race.

I got to go to the best outlets in the country, the San Marcos outlets, during nap time too; so I was a happy camper. I love the Williams-Sonoma and Crate and Barrel stores. Trying to get everything we want to have for our house before we make our big move! I know it's dorky, but I will really miss those outlets when we move:)

On Veteran's Day: Being a military wife

2010-11-11T07:13:00.000-08:00

I didn't grow up knowing anything about the military. My mom is a pacifist and the military just seemed so far away and foreign. I remember being on a bus in 5th or 6th grade, after school, when I heard the announcement that the Gulf War had started. I think I felt scared at the time, but quickly resumed my daily norms and forgot all about it. On September 11, 2001 it hit a lot closer to home. Shortly thereafter, we were in NYC for the marathon and I remember the smell of death in the air, smoky and putrid. It made me want to vomit. Seeing the aftermath of violence on our turf brought me to attention quickly. As much as I want to live in my oblivious, comfortable world where "everything is great!" I now had seen first hand the global reality of discord and unrest.

A few months later I met a guy who captivated me. But he was joining the military. I don't "do" or "speak" military. I moved to CA and he moved to FL, as far away as we could be from one another in this country... Yet my heart couldn't shake him off, so on Veteran's Day weekend 2002, he flew to Oakland from Pensacola to come see me. And after that my staunch, stubborn heart was ruined for good- whether I liked it or not, I loved a man in the military.

Over 18 months we only saw each other 3 times. But letters and emails and phone calls flowed like wine, entwining our hearts together. On Christmas Eve 2003, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I cried. He lived in Corpus Christi, TX for flight school, I lived in WA, having started grad school. Nothing about our proximity to one another would have suggested our relationship would last- but God knit us together from afar. On New Years Eve 2004, he asked my parents for my hand in marriage. My step-mom said, "it's about time!"

So I took Matt Damon (aka Will Hunting's) advice, and packed up my stuff into my little Acura, moving 3,000+ miles across the country to "go see about a boy." I didn't know a soul in Jacksonville or the state of Florida, other than my boyfriend, but God provided me a wonderful job and community. And I learned, as it turns out, when you live in the same city, relationships are harder! The other person finds out you're not perfect and vice versa. I used to always straighten my hair at the salon the day I'd be seeing Los. He was dismayed to find out I have curly hair:) But God continued to grow us closer to one another, and one day, in the middle of a labyrinth in a gorgeous cathedral in France- for the first time, I heard Carlos say, "I love you." Which was immediately followed by, "will you marry me?" I sobbed. Amazed. Grateful. I forgot to say yes until he asked again.

So I married a military man. I had no idea what I was signing up for. I had no idea how many times I would fear for his safety and life, praying to God fervently. I had no idea 5 years ago how my heart would despair when he would leave me on deployments. We spent our first two Christmases and anniversaries apart. I wept like a baby when he left me and tried to bury myself in grad school books to ignore my broken heart. I lived for hearing his voice from Japan or the middle East, carrying my phone everywhere with me. One time I answered in the middle of a dental exam, shedding tears in the chair- that was awkward. Getting a dog was the best decision we made early on in our marriage. We call Burly the "glue that holds our marriage together." After finishing our 'sea' tour and starting our 'shore' tour, life changed once again. After having a rhythm of together-apart for 3 years of marriage, being together all the time was hugely unfamiliar. And not exactly graceful. But it has become so wonderful and now I can't imagine life apart. I have no idea how I will explain to our little girl next summer, in Japan, that we are not going to be seeing daddy for months at a time. Daddy loves us, but daddy is serving our country.

Being a military wife is hard, certainly not for the faint of heart. I am fiercely proud and completely in love with a man who has given his life to something bigger than himself and our immediate comfort. I am grateful that God is our rock and nothing, not life nor death, heights nor depths, can separate us from His love. He who knit us together watches between us when we are apart. I never imagined that this would be my life. I never imagined how proud I would be to call a military veteran my husband. I still largely see myself as a pacifist, and long for the day when war will cease. I don't know what will happen in the rest of my lifetime, but I am grateful to be married to a man of fortitude, strength of character, who serves us daily and serves our nation. I can not adequately or succinctly express my admiration for my Veteran on this day. Suffice to say, being in the military is hard and comes with great sacrifice. Your family, comfort, community, mental health and even life can be be taken. We live in a country full of luxuries and people (myself included) are spoiled and self-centered, forgetful of the fact that others are sacrificing on their behalf. So please thank a veteran for their selflessness today.

Happy Holidays! (a little early)

2010-11-09T10:34:00.000-08:00

I know it's just the first half of November, but we used http://www.minted.com for our Christmas cards this year, and just got our proof in an email. I really liked Minted and am in love with this little girl on the photo... Being her mom is so much fun and our lives are full of blessings. I don't know why November is the only month of the year we focus on thanksgiving, but I am giving thanks for this sweet season of life. 17 months old today and Claire couldn't be more fun. What are you thankful for?

Cooler weather= happier Casey

2010-10-29T22:09:00.000-07:00

Life is getting really sweet here these days. Maybe it's Claire's age? Maybe it takes knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel? Knowing that our timeline in Texas is winding down makes me appreciate life here more. And who are we kidding, the weather is finally cooling down some (okay, so the forecast for Tuesday is back up to 90, but I'm going to concentrate on the fact that TODAY it only got up to 72!) Unfortunately my mood directly correlates with the weather- and we just came through a gross, long season of humidity and mosquitoes. Feeling captive in your own home is no bueno. BUT, hope is on the horizon, we actually got to wear hoodies just a bit today! I love Texas in the winter, it is super pleasant to be outside- and we are outside kind of people. We are starting to go to the beach a lot more (without sweating!) and Burly has so much more energy (amazing what being able to breathe does for the guy- the summer just zaps his energy). It is fun to see Burly and Claire playing so much together these days. She's even holding his leash on his morning walks now, so sweet.

For Halloween, she is a UW Husky Basketball player:) Los and I are going as Tami and Eric Taylor of Friday Night Lights, Los' fave show. Which gave me the excuse to finally buy a pair of cowgirl boots! We've lived in Tejas 2 years now, wish I would've done this way before now.

Knowing that next year we will transition from a 'shore' tour to a 'sea' tour, and Los will have to leave us for months, we are SAVORING all the nights and days he has at home right now. Lots of great meals and conversations and intentional time together. I love my little family of four. I know it will grow and change over the years, but the slow and rich pace of life in Texas is definitely something I appreciate and will miss!

Lite Brite made me cry

2010-10-21T10:49:00.000-07:00

Here is the video that Claire and I are currently watching a lot. We like it for different reasons:) DCB is amazing, check it out!

the G Dub

2010-10-16T21:11:00.000-07:00

This is where Los will be working in the Western Pacific:) One of the most dangerous work environments in the world... I like to say he'll be "flinging" the jets off of the runway. He is up for it though, excited actually. It was his number one job pick for our next tour.

Some of our best friends live in Japan, and we are stoked to explore Tokyo, the mountains (over 600 ski resorts= heaven to me!) and other parts of Asia and Oceania.

Clearly we'll miss the comforts and community we have in the US, but it feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity, so we are going for it!

JAPAN

2010-10-16T20:45:00.000-07:00

So apparently I am the world's worst blogger. But for the few of you who still read this, if you don't know our crazy news: we are moving to Japan! Summer of 2011- we will go tell the Land of the Rising Sun about the glory of the risen Son! Wild.

Claire Evans World Tour no. 1

2010-09-11T12:01:00.001-07:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

Claire Evans World Tour #1- great success

2010-08-25T07:26:00.000-07:00

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I will post a link to our photo album as I finish it, but the month of travel is now over and we are grateful to be home. I've now been to 26 countries, currently beating my husband by one, but that shouldn't last long:) And Claire has 5 countries of passport stamps to her name. I could not wish for a better baby, she was a champ, confidently walking on cobblestone and not afraid of new places or things. And she slept in 17 different beds!! What an easygoing kid. I am blessed. I think I might try to write an article for a magazine on traveling with kids. We shall see.

TOP 14 Things NOT to say to a military Spouse!!

2010-07-14T10:26:00.000-07:00

This is a forward, but I have heard most of these:

1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"
(This one ranks in at number one on the "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds ---but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)

2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."
(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here's why: it's not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)

3. "At least he's not in Iraq."
(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there.)

4. "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?"
(Don't you watch the news? No! They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don't ask again.)

5. "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?"
(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always helps keep me busy.)

6. "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"
(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days until they "can" get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq b/c there is work that needs to be done.)

7. "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it."
(Sure, we do learn coping skills and its true the more deployments you've gone through, the easier dealing with it becomes. And we figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets "easy" and the bullets and bombs don't skip over our guys just because they've been there before. The worry never goes away.)

8. "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through."
(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband's three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a shitty ford taurus with mercedes convertible.)

9. "Wow you must miss him?"
(This one also gets antoher big "duh". Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they're now divorced.)

10. "Where is he exactly? Where is that?"
(I don't expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it's in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they're on the news every night and in the papers every day ---and on maps everywhere.)

11. "Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there.
(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn't sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that "You're welcome." He's still fighting for your freedom.)

12. "Don't you miss sex! I couldn't do it!"
(hmmm, no i don't miss sex. i'm a robot. seriously...military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn't withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)

13. "Well in my opinion....."
(Stop right there. Yo, I didn't ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a bar when I'm out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers about deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running our asses off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politics or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, esp. while we're trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy office microwaves.)

last but not least....

14. "OH, that's horrible...I'm so sorry!"
(He's doing his job and he's a badass. Don't be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)

Claire Evans World Tour: our one year old has traveled to 12 states, now she'll travel to 12 countries too. Woah.

2010-07-07T22:08:00.000-07:00

Eastern Europe Trip Planning!!

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Still trying to figure out how to have a perfect map with 'pins' online to show our itinerary... But as the trip nears (only 3 weeks away now) I am trying to book our last few places, to get a handle on this massive trip... I think our itinerary is as follows:

1. Munich, Germany- renting a car to put some serious mileage on it!
2. Innsbruck, Austria- one of my favorite places on earth, seeing my brother for 3 days!
3. Salzburg, Austria
4. Bled, Slovenia- looks so beautiful!
5. Ljubljana, Slovenia
6. Trieste, Italy (and Slovenian coast)
7. Rijeka, Croatia
8. Zagreb, Croatia
9. Heviz, Hungary (or somewhere on Lake Balaton!)
10. Budapest, Hungary then through Slovakia en route to
11. Krakow, Poland
12. Auschwitz, Poland
13. Brno, Czech Republic
14. Cesky Krumlov, Czech Republic
15. Schwaz, Austria- watching my brother play baseball again, then he can complete our figure 8 trip with us our last 5 days
16. Vaduz, Liechtenstein
17. NE Switzerland
18. Stuttgart, Germany
19. Frankfurt, Germany
20. A couple Reformation sites en route to
21. Berlin, Germany
22.lastly driving back down to Munich to fly back to San Francisco... via
23. LONDON, UK!

Whew, I need a nap just thinking about this itinerary!!! But it is going to be a grand adventure. Three generations together and visiting my brother. Can't wait!!!

Claire's First Birthday

2010-06-20T15:56:00.001-07:00

Our talented new friend Kara took photos of Claire's special day, from waking up, partying her heart out, to nap time. Enjoy them!

You can copy and paste this to see them:)
http://karachappell.smugmug.com/Friends/Claires-1st-Birthday/12615368_pnEyk#906445438_L3W3u
Or press HERE

ONE YEAR

2010-06-09T07:34:00.000-07:00

Happy First Birthday to our happy baby!

One year ago right now, I was getting a blessed epidural, after being in labor for 26 hours. I was so exhausted from writhing in pain all night, and I just wanted to rest and regain some strength. After the drugs set in, I could finally relax for a couple of hours, to the point of snoring (I never snore, well, maybe I should say RARELY). When it finally came time to push, Claire only made me wait 45 minutes to meet her. Thank God. 30 hours of labor is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. One year later, remembering that pain, I am reveling in the fact that last night I listened to jazz and read a philosophy book at a coffee shop, and this morning I cuddled with my dog in bed. WHAT A DIFFERENCE a year makes. It has been fun to reflect.

When I came home last night, Los had already put Claire to bed. Half an hour later, I snuck into her room to gaze at her, there is nothing so perfect in the world to me as a sweet sleeping baby. Her leg was propped up on her bumper and her thumb was in her mouth, so I got closer; but as my eyes adjusted to the dark, I realized her eyes were still open. As she focused on me, she quietly stood up in her crib and I scooped her into my arms for some cuddle time on the glider chair. So warm and soft in my arms, she snuggled in as I pet her golden curls and marveled at her. One year.

So much happened in one year. When I met her, I didn't have the immediate reaction of undying love and affection. I was so tired, I didn't even have energy to hold or nurse her. I had been put through so much pain, and I was unsure about her. I am not a 'baby' person, and I don't like the crying and fragility of newborns. I also felt more allegiance to my dog than to this new person who was so dependent on me. Was I an awful person? In those early weeks, the post-partum hormones majorly messed with my head, I was miserable and felt crazy.

But somehow, by the grace of God, we made it through that season. At 7 weeks, Claire started sleeping through the night, which made us all feel like new people. More than anything else, I am grateful that my baby learned to sleep 16 hours a day! Claire transformed (literally gaining a pound a week, she doubled her weight at 2 months and tripled it by 6 months- I was not prepared for that). And my heart transformed as a mom. I grew in compassion and softness toward her. I grew in wonder of her, this perfect little person. Watching her personality emerge and watching her strength and talents develop. At 3 months, when we started traveling with her, I felt like myself again; and that she was a welcome member of our family and home. I shared in celebrating her milestones as victories. I laughed as she learned to eat foods and experience the whole new world of taste. I smile watching her thumb through board books, babbling away as though she's reading them aloud. And when she began to walk at 9 months, I have never been more proud.

It has been one year, living with this little lady, and I look forward greatly to the next 17 until she leaves for college. She is kind and curious, she is independent and happy to play on her own. She brings joy to all who meet her, at the pool, grocery store or wherever. She loves to be outside, and will stay in the stroller happily for hours, to hear the birds and feel the wind on her face. She is strong, yet sensitive and gentle when around her doggy. She is a perfect mix between reserved and outgoing with others. I can't wait to watch her grow up and to celebrate more life with her. I love exposing her to new things and places, and watching the world through her eyes. I couldn't have imagined life getting better than it was before, being married to my best friend and owning the world's best dog. But it has. Claire has enhanced our lives and taught us so much. I feel lucky to be her mom and to know her. Life just gets better all the time. Grateful.

Texas State Aquarium

2010-05-17T18:48:00.000-07:00

We had a lot of fun at the aquarium for the first time. We looked at alligators, birds, sea otters and many other animals. Claire tried to jump into the dolphin tank a time or two, but other than that she was safe. The fish and rescued sea turtles were a little more interesting to mommy though, baby was just as content to play with and eat mommy's flip flops. Maybe next time she'll be a little more into it. I think we'll buy a year pass, such a great deal!
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On Becoming a Mom and Life BCE (Before Claire Evans)

2010-05-09T10:21:00.000-07:00

In honor of my first Mother's Day, I am sitting down to make myself be reflective. I used to be very introspective before becoming a mom, but now my abilities have waned, my memory and attention span are embarrassingly small. Claire turns 11 months today and the time has flown by, so it’s a challenge to pause and consider what this day means.

I almost can’t remember life before she was here. I know it was wonderful and spontaneous and more clean… but I wouldn’t trade her for anything. Though the past 11 months have been exhausting at times, largely, they have been a dream. I feel so blessed that she is our kid. She is smart and confident and fun to be around. She sleeps a ton, eats everything we give her and has never been sick! She has completed 28 flights and has traveled with us to 5 time zones and 12 states. Crawling at 7 months and walking at 9 months. Good job, baby. Watching her try new things (swimming, pony rides, testing out her strength and voice, playing with toys and Burly and alongside other kids) has been such a joy. I love watching the world through her eyes, so much wonder and discovery. No wonder Jesus said we were to be childlike.

Sometimes I can’t believe how lucky I am to be her mom, I am in awe of her. And while I’m so proud of every new developmental milestone, a little piece of me is nostalgic. Everything is happening so fast. Only 7lbs, 5oz. and 20 inches at birth, she’s since been off the growth charts over 100% She’s been wearing 18 month clothes and some 2 year old clothes already. Where did my little baby go? And when she moved down the hall from us (at 10 weeks) I missed her. I felt like the next thing I know, we’ll be moving her into her sorority or dorm. Time is flying. So I am trying to soak it all in and be grateful.
Some days when we mess up nap time due to being out, or if we’re home all day long, I can get fatigued or go a little crazy, and wish for circumstances to be different. Some times I wish I was working at least part-time to exercise my gifts and talents more fully, and I feel sorry for myself that I’m staying at home. But truthfully, I know this season is short, and so sweet; and we’re blessed to be able to afford for me to stay home. So I don’t want to take it for granted.

Before I was a mom, I wasn’t a big fan of babies in general. I didn’t really ever wish to have one. I loved life just the way it was, and wanted to continue being selfish with my time. I thought a baby would just cramp my style. But now I can’t get enough of this curly blonde little lady who flashes her six-toothed smile at me all day long and melts my heart. I love who she is and I love who she has made me become, more graceful, more present, way less swayed by others’ opinions. Just as I watch sweet Claire learn and grow, I know I will continue to do the same throughout this journey we are on together. Grateful to be her mom this Mothers Day.

Want to Buy an Awesome House in Washington? Know Someone who Does?

2010-05-06T13:57:00.000-07:00

CLICK HERE
to see my in-law's 6 bed/4 bath, 6,000sf home.

First Pony Ride!

2010-05-04T07:13:00.000-07:00

I realize I am months behind on actual stories about our lives... but when you have a 10 month old, some times a quick photo or video is the easiest way to put up a post! Claire has continued to grow leaps and bounds. She's been walking for a month and is doing it by herself without prompting, which is so cute/wobbly. She still has 6 teeth and is giving me more bruises these days from "love bites."
Her newest 'milestone' was her first pony ride. Our church had a Western Night (chili tasting, s'mores making, etc.) this Sunday. At first I just wanted to get a photo of her on the horse, since she has been around them (at my mom's old stables in NY) and been pulled by one (in MN). But she was petting it's mane and really happy, even started giggling; so we decided to let her go for her first ride. Growing up around horses myself, I couldn't have been more thrilled:) Enjoy!

iPhone worship video- pretty impressive!

2010-05-03T10:27:00.000-07:00

Pug Recycling for Earth Day

2010-04-23T11:56:00.000-07:00

The greenest thing Burly does is eat Greenies... He could learn from this guy. So could we:)

Corpus Christi, TX- Fattest City In America

2010-04-20T20:52:00.000-07:00

Corpus Christi, TX | KRISTV.com | - Corpus Christi Fattest City In America
So sad but not surprised in the least to read this news... Having lived all around the country, I've never seen so many obese people, or so few people exercising outside. Last week, I went to Sam's Club (going there gives me the heeby jeebies, but they have some stuff we use), and it was alarming how many people were obese there. A conservative estimate would be 50% of the shoppers. I was reaching for the CrunchMaster Gluten Free crackers in an aisle, and a huge lady next to me was contemplating buying the Fruit Gushers (nasty candy) next to them. Her 3 huge children were begging her to do so. A quick peek at what was filling their cart and I had to bite my tongue from launching into a speech about how she is setting them up for failure. Why can't it be mandatory that all parents watch Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution?
If only Jamie Oliver could come here!

Friends joke about all gaining the "Texas 10" lbs upon moving here, but it's true. It's so hard to find good restaurants to eat at, or places to shop, and there are an abysmally small amount of places you can walk/exercise, yet a disproportionately huge amount of fast food restaurants... Do the math, and you end up hearing about the five year old boy, who died of a heart attack. A friend who works at the children's hospital here said that the amount of Diabetic patients here is so overwhelming, that pre-diabetic kids are sent away, for lack of staff. And she said that 1/30th of the kids she educates will actually make lifestyle changes. So sad. Another Dietician here I know was super excited because getting "Diabetes Educator" certified meant a lot more money, b/c there's such a demand here... The amount of poverty here is astounding, and due to lack of education/money, some moms resort to feeding their newborns soda in bottles. SODA! That breaks my heart, those babies stand no chance of normal insulin levels from the get go. Sigh. Knowing that we'll leave this environment is a consolation for us, but it makes me sad we can't do more to help change S. TX. Texans are very proud people, and love the saying that "everything's bigger in TX," but this is one area that no one can feel proud about.

I'm sorry I'm a Christian -by Chris Tse

2010-04-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

To be warned, there's a couple F-bombs in this slam, but it also has some good challenges for today's church. I heart poetry slams.

Mark Driscoll on Pastoring your Family

2010-04-13T17:18:00.000-07:00

Here are some words he wrote a few years ago, some interesting ideas for Christian families.
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Many people ask me, "What do 'family devotions' look like at your house?" or, "How do you pastor your family?" or even more simply, "Do you pray or read the Bible with your wife and children?" Here is one attempt to answer those questions.

1. Routine
Our family works best with a routine. My wife and I, and our children, have a reasonably regular weekly schedule. Our "family devotions" fit into the larger rhythm and routines of our household (e.g. dinner, bedtime, etc.). Additionally, it is important to note that there are explicit and implicit aspects to our daily spiritual devotion. The bulk of the explicit aspects happen at night between when I get home from work and when I go to bed.

2. Intentional Evenings
I get home from work between 5:30PM and 5:45PM each night. But I have to prepare myself before 5:30PM so that I can hit the ground running when I walk in the door. Though I am invariably tired from my day's work, I have to remind myself that the most important part of my vocation happens after 5:30PM, not before. I am tempted to mentally "clock out" on my drive home, which would be easy. Yet I have to consciously prepare myself to give more energy, more attention, and more dedicated focus as soon as I walk through the door and am greeted by my 5 year old son, 3 year old daughter, newborn son, and wife than I have all day. This takes prayer, practice, and intentionality. It's easy to fail.

Husbands/dads, don't clock-out on your way home; be ready to be present and engaged; don't let your kids or wife expect to hear your formulaic: "I'm tired;" turn your phone off (I recently read something like this: "If you touched your wife as much as you touch your iPhone your marriage would be in a much better spot."); cancel your cable TV; repent of your addiction to new projects, hobbies, and distractions.

Wives, be gracious; be forgiving; learn and grow with your husband; make your home inviting and pleasing; manage the stress level (for you and the kids) before dad gets home (i.e. don't let the water boil all day so that it's boiling over the top right when dad's car pulls up).

3. Time To Play
We eat dinner at 6:00PM. So I walk in the door and devote myself to the kids for 20-30 minutes. Rarely do I take 5 steps into the house before having a 5 year old around my left leg and a 3 year old around my right leg (and now, often, a baby in my arms). Dads, your kids are ready to see you. Ready to punch you. Ready to kiss you. Ready to play. Ready to build. Ready to read. And of course your wife needs this from you too if she's making dinner or just needing a break after her long day. Husbands, remind yourself daily that your wife is likely more exhausted than you are by 5:30PM. Serve her well. This is also a good time to teach the kids about setting the table, helping to pick up the living room, honoring mom, serving a younger sibling, etc. But mainly this is a good time to play.

4. Mealtime
We always eat dinner together around the dinner table. My wife is hospitable, creative, thoughtful, carefree, and eager to worship through a shared meal. Our table is often decorated with candles, and sometimes flowers. We drink wine. We celebrate. We laugh. We joke. We make silly faces. We eat great food. We often, almost without fail, enjoy a dessert. We hold hands to pray. We take our time. Our children are watching and learning and savoring all of this.

5. Cleanup
After dinner we usually clean up (sometimes we wait until the kids are asleep). The children help with dishes, help put things away, help clean up. It doesn't take long and the payoff in relaxation and focus is often worth the price of clearing the table and loading the dishwasher. Yet regardless of whether we clean up now or later, our attention is devoted to the children from 5:30PM to 7:30PM. After dinner, we play. We read. We build towers. We go on adventures. We explore. We tickle.

6. Bible Time
At 7:15PM we all start winding down and I tell the kids: "15 more minutes of ____, and then it's 7:30PM." My kids know exactly what I mean. At 7:30PM it's Bible time. We all gather in the living room (if we're not there already); we get the Bible; and the kids pile on my lap. For the longest time we read the ESV Illustrated Family Bible. This Bible uses the actual ESV text but the stories are selective and the images are great and colorful.

Recently, we began using The Early Readers Bible only because Jonas received it as a Christmas gift. This is a great Bible too, but it's not the actual ESV text, which I prefer. It's a Bible written for young readers. Our 5 year old can blast through this easily, and sometimes I'll let him read during our devotional time, though rarely. At this stage I think it's important for me to lead this time and shepherd them as I read aloud. The great thing about The Early Readers Bible is the questions after each section. Very helpful.

Dads, it's important for you to call the family together. Don't force mom to keep looking at her watch, to always be waiting for you, to nag you to get started. Call the family together. Get the Bible. Know where/what you're reading. Lead your family. Wives, this may be new or unfamiliar for many dads. Go easy on him. Encourage him. Honor his leadership. Don't undermine. Don't criticize. Model respect and love for your children to see. And remember, the kids are watching.

7. Questions & Answers
After we read a section of Scripture I ask questions. I ask questions about the story, about the characters, about the doctrines or themes within the story, about applying the text to the real life of 5- and 3-year-olds. In addition to asking questions about the text itself, our children also memorize the Small Children's Catechism by Chris Schlect. I cannot overstate the importance of catechism in the home. Someone has said, "Preaching without catechism is like building a house without pouring a foundation." So true. Other helpful resources are The Big Book of Questions and Answers (Sinclair Ferguson), My 1st Book of Questions and Answers (Carine Mackenzie), and Big Truths for Young Hearts (Bruce Ware).

8. Family Prayer
Then we all pray. We take prayer requests (this is important because the kids need to see dad asking mom how he can pray for her). And each of us pray. Sometimes I ask the kids to pray for certain things. Sometimes I ask the older to pray for the younger. Sometimes they want to say the Lord's Prayer (which means you need to help them memorize it when they're two or three). Sometime it's random.

Moms and dads, you need to guard this time so that the children don't grow to despise it. This needs to be an encouraging, graceful, loving, fun, sometimes silly, patient, and fruitful time. Be honest with one another. Teach your kids how to care, how to be sensitive to others' needs, how to articulate what they're feeling. Make disciples.

9. Bedtime
Now it's bedtime. Love those kids. Hug and kiss and tickle and snuggle like crazy.

10. Explicit vs. Implicit
Most of the above routine is explicit training and devotion. Yet each of those elements fit into the larger mosaic of what it means to be a part of our family. These explicit elements would only go so far (but not far enough) if not paired with the implicit aspects of the daily spiritual development that are more subtle and mundane.

The implicit aspects are the constant opportunities to listen to your kids, to talk to them, to tell them about Jesus, to tell them about something you read in Scripture, something you've wondered about God, to connect the dots between dinner and worship, to live a life of celebration and sacrifice.

The legitimacy of your "devotion time" is only as solid as the legitimacy of your devotional life. In other words, I reap the rich spiritual benefits at 7:30PM each night because I tilled the soil that morning, during the day, at dinner, and so on. Quality time doesn't replace quantity. In fact, you can only enjoy the quality because you've invested in the quantity. The implicit is the foundation that sustains the rest, only most people don't see the foundation so it's easy to ignore.

Please know, I fail often. I need much grace. God has given me a forgiving wife and patient kids. Husbands/dads, this is the most important work you'll ever do, and it will have more impact than anything you could imagine. Wives/moms, encourage your man to lead; create conditions in which he can succeed. Couples, be patient and forgiving. Don't be short-sighted. Love well. And savor your time together.

May God help us pastor our families well.

These are two of my FAVORITE THINGS: Seattle and GLEE!

2010-04-12T17:41:00.000-07:00

Filmed this weekend, so fun!

Two funniest complaint letters ever

2010-04-08T14:38:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'm the last to read of these letters, but as a frequent traveler I thought this letter to Continental and letter to Richard Bransonof Virgin Air were hilarious.
Rob Bell read them in a recent sermon on Lamentations as modern-day laments. Oh man they make me laugh.

Our fave pastor on our fave subject on our fave day of the year- Happy Easter!

2010-04-04T07:38:00.000-07:00

Enjoy this Vimeo of Rob Bell on resurrection

Resurrection: Rob Bell from The Work of Rob Bell on Vimeo.

And just like that... we have a walker...

2010-04-02T21:24:00.000-07:00

MN was a really special trip for many reasons. While there, Claire started standing alone, and I was going to put up a photo of that. But she beat me to the punch and started WALKING today. I was NOT prepared for this so early, but she started pulling up the day after learning to crawl at 7 months, so I knew her timeline was quite different than what I'd hoped it would be:) Here she is taking some of her first steps. She'd been wearing a dress that is a little too long, and kept tripping on it, we normally don't let our kid hang out nakey.

Miracle Baby

2010-03-25T10:39:00.000-07:00

Miracle baby Addy, she is half the age of Claire, but about a quarter of the size.

My March For Babies page
In April, I am joining some friends for a March for Babies that fundraises for March of Dimes. I never knew what that organization did until our friends' baby came 15 weeks early. Baby Addy was born at only 13 ounces, and is truly a miracle. She is the smallest baby to ever be delivered and thrive at Bay Area Hospital, the same place Claire was born. She is remarkable. To hear her story, and if you'd like to donate to support care for babies born prematurely in the future, please visit my page.

Food, Inc., truly the omnivore's dilemma

2010-03-17T20:51:00.000-07:00

Last night I had the crazy idea to watch Food, Inc. before going to bed. Disturbing movie. Yet important. And it left me convicted that as a Christian called to stewardship (of what we have, but also our choices to consume), we have a lot of room for improvement in the food arena. We are more disconnected with what we eat than I would like, so as a small step of change, I am looking into local sustainable farms from whom we can get meat and eggs. The movie was horrifying/repulsive, when showing what factory farms look like, and I don't want our money going toward the "cheapest deal" at that expense. I am as guilty as the next person of not buying the more ethical choice... So I've been doing some reading/calling today to see how we might change. I found this article on Eat Wild.com If you don't have the stomach to watch animal cruelty (even though you're supporting it with your dollars), perhaps this article will be as convicting/inspiring for you as it was for me about the benefits of buying differently.

Grass-Fed Basics
by Jo Robinson

Back to Pasture. Since the late 1990s, a growing number of ranchers have stopped sending their
animals to the feedlots to be fattened on grain, soy and other supplements. Instead, they are
keeping their animals home on the range where they forage on pasture, their native diet. These
new-age ranchers do not treat their livestock with hormones or feed them growth-promoting
additives. As a result, the animals grow at a natural pace. For these reasons and more, grass-fed
animals live low-stress lives and are so healthy there is no reason to treat them with antibiotics or
other drugs.

More Nutritious. A major benefit of raising animals on pasture is that their products are healthier
for you. For example, compared with feedlot meat, meat from grass-fed beef, bison, lamb and
goats has less total fat, saturated fat, cholesterol, and calories. It also has more vitamin E, beta-
carotene, vitamin C, and a number of health-promoting fats, including omega-3 fatty acids and
“conjugated linoleic acid,” or CLA.

The Art and Science of Grassfarming. Raising animals on pasture requires more knowledge and
skill than sending them to a feedlot. For example, in order for grass-fed beef to be succulent and
tender, the cattle need to forage on high-quality grasses and legumes, especially in the months
prior to slaughter. Providing this nutritious and natural diet requires healthy soil and careful pasture
management so that the plants are maintained at an optimal stage of growth. Because high-quality
pasture is the key to high-quality animal products, many pasture-based ranchers refer to
themselves as "grassfarmers" rather than “ranchers.” They raise great grass; the animals do all the
rest.

Factory Farming. Raising animals on pasture is dramatically different from the status quo.
Virtually all the meat, eggs, and dairy products that you find in the supermarket come from animals
raised in confinement in large facilities called CAFOs or “Confined Animal Feeding Operations.”
These highly mechanized operations provide a year-round supply of food at a reasonable price.
Although the food is cheap and convenient, there is growing recognition that factory farming
creates a host of problems, including:
• Animal stress and abuse
• Air, land, and water pollution
• The unnecessary use of hormones, antibiotics, and other drugs
• Low-paid, stressful farm work
• The loss of small family farms
• Food with less nutritional value.

Unnatural Diets. Animals raised in factory farms are given diets designed to boost their
productivity and lower costs. The main ingredients are genetically modified grain and soy that are
kept at artificially low prices by government subsidies. To further cut costs, the feed may also
contain “by-product feedstuff” such as municipal garbage, stale pastry, chicken feathers, and
candy. Until 1997, U.S. cattle were also being fed meat that had been trimmed from other cattle, in
effect turning herbivores into carnivores. This unnatural practice is believed to be the underlying
cause of BSE or “mad cow disease.”

Animal Stress. A high-grain diet can cause physical problems for ruminants—cud-chewing
animals such as cattle, dairy cows, goats, bison, and sheep. Ruminants are designed to eat fibrous
grasses, plants, and shrubs—not starchy, low-fiber grain. When they are switched from pasture to
grain, they can become afflicted with a number of disorders, including a common but painful
condition called “subacute acidosis.” Cattle with subacute acidosis kick at their bellies, go off their
feed, and eat dirt. To prevent more serious and sometimes fatal reactions, the animals are given
chemical additives along with a constant, low-level dose of antibiotics. Some of these antibiotics
are the same ones used in human medicine. When medications are overused in the feedlots,
bacteria become resistant to them. When people become infected with these new, disease-
resistant bacteria, there are fewer medications available to treat them.

Caged Pigs, Chickens, Ducks and Geese. Most of the nation’s chickens, turkeys, and pigs are
also being raised in confinement. Typically, they suffer an even worse fate than the grazing
animals. Tightly packed into cages, sheds, or pens, they cannot practice their normal behaviors,
such as rooting, grazing, and roosting. Laying hens are crowded into cages that are so small that
there is not enough room for all of the birds to sit down at one time. An added insult is that they
cannot escape the stench of their own manure. Meat and eggs from these animals are lower in a
number of key vitamins and omega-3 fatty acids.

Environmental Degradation. When animals are raised in feedlots or cages, they deposit large
amounts of manure in a small amount of space. The manure must be collected and transported
away from the area, an expensive proposition. To cut costs, it is dumped as close to the feedlot as
possible. As a result, the surrounding soil is overloaded with nutrients, which can cause ground
and water pollution. When animals are raised outdoors on pasture, their manure is spread over a
wide area of land, making it a welcome source of organic fertilizer, not a “waste management
problem

The Healthiest Choice. When you choose to eat meat, eggs, and dairy products from animals
raised on pasture, you are improving the welfare of the animals, helping to put an end to
environmental degradation, helping small-scale ranchers and farmers make a living from the
land, helping to sustain rural communities, and giving your family the healthiest possible food. It’s a
win-win-win-win situation.
© 2007 by Jo Robinson
+++++

To learn more details about the benefits of choosing products from pastured animals, read Pasture
Perfect by Jo Robinson or explore her website, www.eatwild.com.

My brother is so lucky!

2010-03-05T09:44:00.000-08:00

Look where he gets to live, coach and play baseball this spring! Straight from scuba-diving and playing baseball in paradise, I mean Australia, to this scene out of my dreams.

A river, Austrian Alps and a quaint town besides... trying to scheme a way that we could go visit him, I love Austria. He is so lucky.

Thoughts on Being Clean

2010-03-05T06:50:00.000-08:00

I thought this was a good one-
March 5, 2010
Isaiah 1:16-20

Our lives are bombarded with images and admonitions for cleanliness. Choose the laundry detergent that "gets the dirt out," use the new "scrubbing bubbles." Floor cleaners, air fresheners, hand sanitizers. But these pleas are not new. Remember, "clean your room," "wash your mouth out with soap, "you can be poor but you can be clean," "cleanliness is next to godliness." Some Christian religious traditions are replete with images of "washed in the blood," "cleansed from sin" We all know of the great flood, baptism. There are images of fire cleansing impurities, of water washing away evil. New beginnings. The mechanism may vary, but the image remains.

There is a danger in taking these sayings to mean we must cleanse ourselves, to become worthy. We believe that evil, injustice, bad thoughts, expressions, dirt, germs - all that might hurt us, can be removed with the "cleansing" agent of choice. Isaiah directs the people to cleanse themselves, remove evil, and become white as snow. Learn good, seek justice, correct oppression, defend orphans, and plead for those who have no one else. But we have already received the one great gift. So are our poor efforts at cleanliness necessary to ensure our acceptance by God, or are they gifted to us by grace through faith, to become instead a reflection of our faith? In truth, there is but one agent that can cleanse us adequately - His work has already been done. Our task is to accept with gratitude, to believe, and then to go forth rejoicing. In preparation for Easter, let us remember.

Baptized in water, sealed by the Spirit
Cleansed by the blood of Christ, our King
Heirs of salvation, trusting the promise,
Faithfully now God's praises we sing.

Roberta Dohse

"Walking" 8 month old...

2010-02-24T10:01:00.000-08:00

And so it begins...

Not that my grades could've made it into Yale...

2010-02-22T12:02:00.000-08:00

but this was hilarious, and so true of the friend I had there... Plus who doesn't love a 'lil High School Musical?? It's just for fun!

I think alums and others who were critical need to relax!

Why I’m Giving Up Facebook For Lent,… (but not all the way)

2010-02-17T19:53:00.000-08:00

Clearly, people can do whatever they want. By no means am I imposing MY conviction on anyone else. The heart of sacrificing something at Lent can be manifested in many different ways. It’s not a legalistic thing. But we all reach for things every day, and the idea is that by sacrificing one of those said things, we can recall Christ’s greater self-sacrifice on the cross. That's how it is with all fasting. You don't just fast from something to starve yourself, but fasting and feasting go together; you give something up so you can enjoy and dwell on something (someone) different.

And somehow, over the past few years, I have been reaching for Facebook with an ever-increasing frequency. Since it is on my iPhone, I look at it in bed even, right before sleep, and sometimes when I wake up. Over the years, I have even started thinking about my life in terms of status updates. Casey… “bought eggplant today, what do I do with it?” “hates the vampireous mosquitoes that are outside in February…” “looks forward to teething being over.” Over the top. No one needs to know or even cares about the minutia in my life. But updating statuses and checking others’ became a compulsive habit for me.

SO… when I saw that a handful of friends were giving up FB for Lent, I had a sneaking suspicion that maybe I should too. Facebook should be a tool for connecting with people, but it had become something that I probably spent an hour or more on a day (over way too many site visits). If I were to tell you what the priorities in my life were, you might believe me. But when we look at how a person spends their time, their priorities are telling. So this Lent, I am getting my priorities straight.

I decided not to give it up entirely, because that's another adventure in missing the point. I still want to be reachable, the site’s original intention. But I deleted it from my iPhone, which is how I usually looked at it. Who needs to be looking online at a traffic light, or at a friend’s house? That is how addicted I was, embarrassingly enough. I also decided not to go on it after 5 pm. I want to be more intentional with my husband, our baby and our friends, real, live people that life is lived alongside, rather than paying so much attention to a screen. I know that many people we love live far away, and that’s something that can’t be replaced; but sometimes I feel like I was spending more time with a screen than actual humans. So I need a change. Looking at a screen doesn’t fill loneliness or stimulate you in a healthy way. (I’ll try to avoid the rabbit hole of the porn industry here)

I’m not making rules about what this will look like for me, other than taking a Sabbath from it on Sundays. I just know that it needs to look different than it was. Maybe I will go on once a day, during a nap. I love seeing photos of friends’ kids, and don’t want to miss important things that are happening. But I won’t be checking and writing compulsively, like before. Maybe I’ll write a status update once a week, or maybe not until Easter. But I do know that instead of being on FB, I’ll be living life abundantly, instead of just trying to make it sound as though I am.

LENTEN FREEDOM

2010-02-17T10:12:00.000-08:00

I am writing a couple of devotionals for our church this Lenten season, and I'll post them on here, enjoy.

Philippians 3:8,12 and 16 “I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus… I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me…. Only let us live up to what we have already attained.”

Lent begins today, Ash Wednesday. Because I didn’t grow up in any kind of religious environment, Lent meant nothing to me until college. And even then, at first it only meant “giving something I liked up.” Some sort of weird, temporary self-denial for 40 week days before Easter. But I’m a greedy American, so that was hard. I started out with easy things, stuff I wouldn’t REALLY miss. Sweets one year, soda or caffeine one year. Pizza one year. The next year was music in my car. I LOVE music. That was the year I learned about Lent.

I learned that it wasn’t about following rules for rules’ sake. I learned that I actually experienced more clarity, by taking away something and replacing that thing with sorting through the clutter in my mind, listening, praying and life-giving activity. I learned that in giving something up, what I received was much greater. I received freedom. God doesn’t want our sacrifices (read 1 Samuel 15), he wants our hearts, he wants our attention. It doesn’t matter what we do or don’t do, but God wants us to be free. Free from addiction, so we can be free for receiving His good gifts.

Jesus, may you mean more to us than anything else. Help us release our grip on whatever we are clinging to tightly. Let us live into the freedom you give us. Amen.

He wants our hearts, he misses us. May we experience God’s freedom and peace this Lenten season.

My First Half-Marathon: the Austin Marathon

2010-02-16T13:39:00.000-08:00

-Lessons from Ground Zero to 13.1 in 8 months-

8 months ago, after giving birth, I could hardly walk to the end of our street. I never imagined I would be able to say the words, “I have finished a Half Marathon.” But Sunday, as of 10:30am, I can now say I am among a small, CRAZY percentage of humanity who has accomplished this goal (some of us slower than others.)
I am partially still in shock, partially so proud, and mostly just SORE and popping ibuprofen like it’s my job. For those of you who are wondering, here is how the race went for me:

My sleep the night before was scarce, and my thoughts were all over the place. I even remember thinking, “what if all my clothes disintegrate?” Can we say irrational? Woke up at 5:45, ate a bit, peed a TON, dressed and stretched. Lesson #1: dressing weather-appropriate is HUGE. #2: Proper hydration is a tricky balance; you don’t want to have to wait in a 50 person line for the port-o-potty at mile 4, like I saw people doing. And #3: WHY in the WORLD don’t I stretch more?! Stretching helps everything.

At 6:45 I went out into the chaos, of 14,000 runners/walkers, who were milling around, some of whom were quite entertaining and/or anxious. Marathons are a great place for people-watching. Lesson #4: picking a hotel close to the start is another huge deal. Parking should NOT be your main concern on the morn of your race. And #5: pick a race that has good weather. The cooler, the better for your body, as your internal temp and the outside temp will rise.

At 7:00 sharp, the crowd began moving. It took me 8 minutes to cross the start line, but I was soon rewarded with the gorgeous dawn view on the Congress St. bridge and the first of many live bands along the course. Lesson #6: choose a course that interests you, a beautiful place, entertainment, etc. This will help you get through the miles.

The first 5K was a steady uphill, that surprised me, since I always train on flat terrain. Lesson #7: don’t do what I did. The only good news about the uphill was that I could look behind me for miles and realize my fear of coming in dead last was unfounded. I was surprised how many people were behind me! We were the rewarded, with the second 5K being a long, gradual downhill. Things got better for me after that. In all the splits they gave me online, my place got better and better as the race went on. Lest I sound cocky, over seven THOUSAND people finished before me. But I feel proud that I gained on a couple hundred.

I took a GU at miles 4, 7 and 10; these were helpful. I mostly walked, but would jog or sprint a minute with Los just to change it up for our muscles here and there. All in all, I probably ran less than 1.5 miles, but it felt good to engage different muscles and get a change of pace. In my training, I didn’t really run at all, so I wanted to be conservative with running, so as not to overexert myself.

We had hills at miles 8, 10 and 12, the last of which sucked my will to live. Lesson #8: I have a lot to learn about using my arms to propel me. Once we crested the final hill, at mile 12.5, I got really emotional. It finally set in that a goal I’ve had in mind for 30 years, (which seemed about as attainable as me going to the moon) was going to come to fruition. I blinked back tears as I told myself I needed to conserve that energy for a little while longer.

We rounded the corner, on to the campus of the Texas State Capitol, a gorgeous, massive, red granite building. By then Los started crying too, out of pride for me. He split off (he did the race last minute as a bandit, to keep me company) and I ran the last bit through the chute to the sound of tons of applause. Since I didn’t have a watch, I was quite surprised to see that I had beat my estimated time by over 20 minutes!! I was elated. I still had tons of energy left in my tank, and didn’t feel too sore in any of my muscles. I was even able to run later, playing with Burly after the race.

I know that I have a LOT of room for improvement, and could probably shave more than an hour off my time if I ran more. But for never having done this distance before (except for hiking), and for walking the vast majority of it, a 3:27 was a fine time to start off with- a 15 minute pace. I just wanted to see that I could do it. And now I feel like I can do anything. Lesson #9: NEXT time I will stick to a training plan better. I did ZERO core work or cross-training, and I know both of those will help me be stronger and more fit. DO YOU HEAR THAT old man in the raggedy sweatshirt, jeans and fanny pack, who beat me?! I’m coming after you. I still may place in the 7000’s out of 9000. But I’m taking you down.

My Big Girl...

2010-02-08T13:27:00.000-08:00

This week we'll find out how long and wide :) Claire is again at her 8 month appt (which is really just getting a shot, not the traditional 9 month well baby check up)... All I have to say is: her 12 month pants are now starting to look like capris... and one 12 month shirt didn't fit her in the arms... not to mention the many 12 month clothes that show off her "beer" belly. Oh man. So today I decided to try out a pair of Baby GAP 18 month pants. And let's just say... they were a little snug at the waist. Unbelievable. I was not prepared for her to be cruising as a 7 month old, or 22 lbs. before a year. This is one big, strong kid. Lord help me.

p.s. she got another darling swimsuit in the mail this weekend. It's a 2T. She won't be two until June 2011, but I'm pretty sure it will fit her this spring. She dominated her first swim lesson this weekend, we'll have to get some pics of that, she LOVES the water.

Embarrassing!

2010-02-08T10:00:00.000-08:00

Just read this about my home city. Way to make a girl proud, Fresno...

Casey as a baby

2010-01-28T14:01:00.000-08:00

My mom keeps sending me pics of me as a little person to compare to Claire. What do you think? Think she looks like me? I think she just looks like herself, but we're trying to figure out which parts she got of each of us...

Guilty as Charged

2010-01-25T19:19:00.000-08:00

Chris Tomlin and Corpus Christi, never would have paired the two. But since our mayor did, I am convicted. I definitely complain about living here way more than I pray for this place. I know that if I switched the percentages of prayers and complaints, my heart would grow for this place. It is my 'desert,' a la the Israelites, not a place I would have chosen, nor will I stay... but I can meet God here as they did.

Marathons for the rest of us...

2010-01-25T13:44:00.000-08:00

So I'm not a Kenyan. Nothing about my frame says 'distance runner' on it. But I have the unfortunate (or fortunate?) circumstance to be the daughter of a career marathoner and wife of a burgeoning distance runner. So not only did I grow up at marathons around the country, but now (incredulously) I am watching Los "just go out for a quick 15-miler." Amazing. When we lived in Jacksonville, FL, he went out just to see how long he could run (ironically, NEVER a question I have wondered about myself). He came back TWO HOURS LATER. I thought he was dead on the side of the road somewhere. Nope, he was just seeing what his body was made of. Yeah, two WEEKS later, he ran his first Half-Marathon. WITHOUT TRAINING. And he got something like a 1:37. Disgustingly good. He is the kind of guy that makes running look pretty.

I am not one of those people. Since I grew up at marathons, I could tell you all about what your stride is supposed to look like. I know who is running efficiently, and who is wasting time with their arms or head wagging around with too much lateral motion.

But I don't put it into practice. I can't run half a mile without panting:) I love to sprint, I was a soccer player after all, but running the same pace for minutes on end just doesn't do it for me. Without a ball in front of me to chase, block or pass, what is the point of running?

But here's my problem. Now that I'm a mom, I don't really want to take the time to go to the gym. Too much of a hassle, and there's not one that I'm in love with close by. Plus the gym day-care kind of creeps me out with germs. Getting out on the road with our BOB stroller and Burly seems a lot more time efficient. And let's be honest, that pregnancy weight-gain (and pre-pregnancy weight gain, who am I kidding?) is not going ANYWHERE by itself. So I have to do something...

So a couple of months ago, I was talking with my friend Kiesha, who has also done a lot of Half-Marathons. And for the first time it dawned on me that someone like me could complete one. Because she isn't one of those front of the pack finishers that I've always seen at races. She taught me that it doesn't matter what your time is, but the goal is to finish and feel proud of yourself. Maybe that seems very elementary, but it was revolutionary for me.

So in November, I printed out an Easy Half-Marathon Training Plan. I taped it up in our kitchen, so I would look at it (or have to try hard to ignore it) every day. I started out just walking/jogging 3 miles, 3 times a week. Gradually I increased the weekend walk by a mile a week. At Thanksgiving, I did my first 10K, which was something I never knew I'd do, but it was so fun. And this past weekend, I did my longest training day, which was a 12-miler. I was so proud (and stinky) afterwards, because I know that if I saw someone that looked like me, I would not guess they could do a Half-Marathon. But I did it! And it was mostly easy. So my big day is coming up in 2.5 weeks, the Austin Half-Marathon, on Valentine's Day. I can't wait. I think it will be so awesome to do something for myself like that. To celebrate health and go out and see what I can do. I won't finish first. In fact, my prayer is just that I don't finish last. But even if I do, it doesn't matter. I am doing it, and I am stoked.

Too many milestones...

2010-01-25T13:36:00.000-08:00

We just started getting used to Claire crawling this past week. She's only 7 months old. So when I saw her pulling up and STANDING today, I about had a heart attack. Especially since her method of getting down is crashing head-first against the wooden crib and bursting into tears. No matter how many times I laid (i.e. body-slammed) her back down, she keeps getting back up on her feet. I am not prepared for this so soon, she just learned about getting on her knees a week ago. Why can't she develop more slowly? She's already over 21 lbs, the weight I thought she'd be at one year! My little baby has disappeared. I am equal parts sad/shocked/stressed/proud. I will try to embrace it, but holy cow, this happened way too fast for my taste.

Advice: Domestic and International Plane Travel with a Baby

2010-01-24T08:56:00.000-08:00

This started out as an email to my dear friend in Malawi, Africa; but I thought I would post it here for anyone else who wants to read it. By no means is it finished, please add your 2 cents if you have more advice!

The best lesson I've learned in parenthood is to be easy-going about itineraries. It started in labor, and still proves true....

So how that translates to traveling with a baby: relax. Be confident. And KNOW that something won't always go 'ideally,' but that you'll make it. Some flights, the baby will be the perfect angel you know and love. Some flights, you may have the spawn of Satan:) Kidding, but you may have a crying baby, you may not. But the good news is: the plane will land. The trip will end. And likely you'll never see all those people again:)

My advice:
1) bring a new toy for him (something novel- a small, colorful rattle, or something) and something comforting (a familiar, small blanket)

2) Request the bulkhead, IF you are going to be in a 767 or 777, as they oftentimes have bassinets. This was a life-saver for us on the Hawaii-Texas flight. Even if he's "too long" according to their standards, request it anyway, if he's sleeping on his tummy/side or even back, his legs can bend at the knee, and it gives him his own space for a bit. Also, he can sit and play with a toy or book for a bit there.

3) EXPECT that naps will be shorter. Claire sleeps 2 hours frequently for naps, and takes 3 naps a day still at 7.5 months. (some babies are down to two by now, but this girl loves her some sleep!) In a car or plane, in a carseat or our arms, she only sleeps MAX 45 minutes, more likely 1/2 an hour. As someone who likes to sleep at least 16 hours a day normally. This used to stress me out. But it's okay. After the trip, he can recover and get back to his norm. It's all about reading their tired cues and comforting them when they exhibit them.

4) Jet lag. He may have it, he may not; babies can surprise you with how adaptable they are. Claire has been in 5 different time zones in the US and done fine in all of them. Give yourself and him grace.

5) Feeding: we make her own food at home, but it's much easier for plane flights to buy some pre-packaged (Gerber or whatever they sell in Africa) baby food. Pack extra, you never know what could go wrong.

6) Germs: Planes are FULL of them. Especially international flights where you get people from different parts of the world, and the air is recycled for hours. Try to be diligent with cleaning your hands/face and baby's hands and face. En route to Seattle, I had to change Claire on the FLOOR, right outside the bathroom, most disgusting place in the plane, but there was no alternative. You deal with it the best you can.

7) Drugs: There are different thoughts about "knocking the baby out" for the duration of flights. I've never done it, but to each their own, do what feels right to you.

8) Wine: however, we have bought the red wine on a flight (free little bottle in international flights) and rubbed our finger around Claire's gums with wine we put on our finger. It helped her relax.

9) Air pressure: Some babies react to it, some don't. If Easton takes a paci, give him one, or feed him a bottle or breast feed during take-off and final approach. Even if you give him a bottle of water, that is a good distraction and the sucking motion helps with their ears.

10) when traveling by yourself, ask for HELP! I flew to NYC by myself, with a baby, carseat, stroller, and carry on, and diaper bag. A lot to juggle. People are usually gracious with single parents, and will help you stow your carry on while you get the babe situated. And when you have to go to the bathroom, flight attendants can hold your babe. I don't know how you feel about passing your baby around to other passengers (especially in light of swine flu, etc.), but one time to Houston, I really needed a break, and a sweet Korean couple took Claire for 15 minutes. She ate it up, and it was a gift to me. Use your judgment.

11) Layovers: if you have a long one, try to find a quieter part of a terminal that you can stroll around in, to cut out stimulation and get Easton a nap. We walked over a mile in Denver, just circling the empty B terminal so Claire could sleep. Plus, walking is good for your legs too, to counterbalance all the sitting.

12) Miscellaneous:
*bring a plastic bag or two for wrapping up poopy dipes that you can't dispose of right away. Even if you normally do cloth diapers, when traveling, disposable is the way to go.
*Bring bottles for water, and have the attendants refill them with water as you use them.
*on almost every airline, the stroller, car seat and diaper bag don't count as luggage. Gate check them, and if there is an open seat in a row, maybe ask the attendants if you can carry your car seat on? We prefer not to, as Claire would rather sit, lay, or stand on the airplane seat, but when they're more mobile, it's nice to have a place to secure them.
*Bring your Ergo, or Baby Bjorn or whatever carrier you use on board- your arms will get tired from holding Easton and walking around:) Give them a break.

I'm sure I'm forgetting a lot, but lastly, travel as much as you can before you have to pay for them to travel with you, at 2 years old. Claire has been to 10 states so far, and will be at 13 by one year old. Never again will she travel so much, traveling with a baby is a dream, compared to a toddler, who wants to run everywhere and assert their own will. So go for it, have a positive attitude, and you guys can accomplish anything! Remember, no matter how hard it may be, the plane will land:)

We've Got a Crawler, Folks!!

2010-01-20T20:23:00.000-08:00

And just like that, our lives got a wee bit busier, and our floors should get a wee bit cleaner!

Claire crawled a ton tonight toward her Grammy on the computer on Skype, we had to circle the computer around the living room a few laps:) She is so funny, she goes nuts for my mom; and now that she can do something about her exuberance she grabbed at the computer til we put it out of her reach! Ahh, parenting in the 21st century. Gone are the days where the norm is for the Grammy to just come over and watch baby crawl... How a 7 month old totally knows her Grammy on the computer is beyond me, but it's pretty amazing.

Before throwing a tomato at Pat Robertson

2010-01-14T10:25:00.000-08:00

Read Don Miller's response to him...

Passion 2010- Jan.2-5, Atlanta, GA. 23,000 hearts united as one

2010-01-08T08:29:00.000-08:00

This was my past week.

Thoughts to follow...

Official Santa

2010-01-08T08:23:00.000-08:00

I've been traveling the past 3 weeks... Better late than never!

GENEROUS HEARTS!

2010-01-07T17:08:00.000-08:00

Reposting this from Louie Giglio, the totals raised this past week for people in need in Atlanta and around the world. Over a million dollars raised, praise God.

While the worship at Passion is vital, it is not an end in itself. Rather, our songs and anthems are fuel for our journey to the nations. Thus, Do Something Now is front and center in all we do, a major component of every gathering.

At Passion 2010 we introduced 12 partner organizations with causes totaling $500,000. Our goal was not pledges for the future, but giving on site together in four days. In the end (and this number will continue to grow), the total passed on to our 12 partners includes:

Building an education center for the Dalit people of India through Operation Mobilization. Goal–$75,000. Given–$92,753.91.

Small business loans for women in Haiti through Hope International. Goal–200 x $200 loans. Given–$64,412.34 for 322 loans.

Bible translation for Shatika and Rom People of SE Asia with OneVerse. Goal–translate 4000 verses at a cost of $100,000. Given–3134 verses/$78.359.

Sponsor 100 seminary students in the Middle East with E3 Partners. Goal–$30,000. Given–$45,318/151 students.

Build 10 wells in Guatemala with Living Water. Goal–$50,000. Given–$113.865/22 wells built.

Provide 100 cleft palate surgeries for children in Afghanistan with Cure International. Goal–$55,000. Given–$68,160.54/111 children get surgeries.

Package and send Bibles to unreached people in Asia through Bibles Unbound. Goal–3000 Bibles packaged and $3000 to cover cost. Given/Done–3000 Bibles packaged/$9,530.56 given to send more.

Build a border outpost in Nepal to intercept sex trafficking victims through Not For Sale. Goal–$25,000. Given–$86,516.72 for 3+ border outposts.

Support a Child Survival project in Indonesia through Compassion International. Goal–100 students x $20 a month for one year = $24,000. Given–205 students x $20 a month for one year = $50,170. (The 12 month commitment represents pledges for this cause).

Package meals through our partner Feed My Starving Children. Goal–package 100,000 meals atPassion 2010 and give $17,500 to cover costs. Given/Done–108,432 meals packaged and $17,533.32 given.

Sponsor children affected by HIV/AIDS in Mozambique with World Vision. Goal–200 students x $35 monthly/package 1000 Caregiver kits. Given–174 students x $35 monthly/1000 caregiver kits assembled.

Drink coffee and fund projects in Ethiopia through our partner Gobeana Coffee. Given–$24,548.

Total given at Passion 2010 = $724,480.42.

IN ADDITION, a family at Passion 2010 matched the total as of Tuesday morning with a gift of $668.597.00.

For a Passion 2010

As well, 14,820 towels and 72,600 pairs of socks were given to assist the homeless shelters of Atlanta.

Obviously, it’s not all about the money. But we know the verse, “where your money is your heart is also,” applies here, and believe many lives have been captured by His global purposes in these days.

Thanks to everyone who joined this amazing cause. Let’s continue to give everything until His grace, hope ad healing are extended to all.

Humbled,
LG

You can still give $5 by texting OMC to 20222 and by supporting the causes at onemillioncan.com. All monies given by text after Passion 2010 will go to onemillioncan causes.

Is Santa Real?

2009-12-17T08:39:00.000-08:00

When it comes time for us to cross that bridge, I'm with Adam

Our Big 6 Month Old and her Pup

2009-12-08T13:06:00.000-08:00

Meeting Santa

2009-12-03T08:59:00.000-08:00

No tears, but more than a little beard pulling:) All in all, it was a success.

CB 3 to 6 months

2009-12-02T21:31:00.001-08:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

Too bad we have plans...

2009-11-17T08:37:00.000-08:00

because I don't think I will have truly lived until we make it to the KING RANCH COWBOY BREAKFAST. Two years in a row I am missing it. Woe is me. Next year will be our year.

P.S. if you've ever seen the King Ranch logo on the back of a Ford vehicle... Yes, it's this King Ranch, in our backyard. It's bigger than the entire state of Rhode Island, no joke.

Local volunteers will be serving up heaping plates of eggs, refried beans, biscuit's 'n gravy, sausage, tortillas, coffee and juice.

Team roping, horseshoeing, rawhide braiding, and old-time cow camp cooking demonstrations
will be part of the morning's activities, along with cowboy poetry, storytelling, and musical
entertainment. Come join us for a taste of the cowboy life.

Held in November on the Saturday before Thanksgiving – 7 a.m. to 11 a.m.
Tickets: ages 4 and up $6.00 – ages 3 and under FREE!

Advance tickets may be purchased starting in November at:
• King Ranch Saddle Shop
• Kingsville Convention and Visitor's Bureau
• King Ranch Visitor's Center
• or at the Breakfast

For more information call: 1-800-333-5032 or 361-221-0116
King Ranch, Highway 141, Kingsville, Texas

My Worst Nightmare- oh Texas, let me count thy ways...

2009-11-11T15:20:00.000-08:00

Today I had to face my biggest fear. As if I don't already feel like a prisoner in my own home, since there are 200 mosquitoes hanging out (literally, that is a conservative estimate) in my front door and back door areas... We usually only let people in and out of our garage for a better quarantine area... And I only open my garage when I must, as in, I am leaving with a stroller, or car.

Well today it happened. I put Claire in the car, then opened the garage door to leave this cursed property, and in to my perfectly clean garage slithers a perfectly UNWELCOME snake. Spawn of Satan. My heart raced right up to my throat as I thought for a second before running to get a broom. I swept at him and yelled at him until he went into the bushes out front. I got into my car just to have another semi-heart attack as I saw the chord that you plug the iPhone into to play music through the car stereo; anything long and black was making me jump a mile.

Rough couple of minutes. I hate being so on edge here, like I'm in survival mode. I saw a snake last week in the driveway/grass, and that was bad enough. Then I ran 2.5 miles being chased by thousands of mosquitoes on Sunday. Claire even got bitten 3 times, WITH a stroller cover on! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I am trying really hard to have a good attitude about where we live, b/c we have 2 years left... But it is rough some times. Today is one of those times. It's 80 degrees in mid-November and I just long for fall. I long to go outside at any hour of the day and not be eaten alive. Is that too much to ask?

And people ask why we travel so much... Dear Lord, have mercy.

Using your gifting... (or not)

2009-11-08T11:10:00.000-08:00

Do any of you know what you are interested in and good at, and yet not utilize your talents? Be it from lack of time or opportunity? How do you deal with that?

Today I found myself in tears on the way home from church. Part of the sermon about 1 Corinthians 12 stirred me. The pastor spoke a small side note about the loss experienced when you aren't using your gifting, which resonated with me. After the past 10 years living around the country, in volunteer and paid positions in ministry, I know what I'm good at and passionate about. And I had grand hopes after seminary of entering a position at a church or a hospital, to bless others and be blessed as I served.

The past year has looked quite different than that.

This is not to complain... In so many ways, this has been a very rich season of life. Though Texas is our "wilderness," even the wilderness is full of life! After a rough beginning, we found our rhythm as parents, and truly I couldn't enjoy Claire more. Staying at home with her is a gift. She is a great baby and I'm grateful to have the chance to love her and get to know her. She is going to be one cool and powerful person, and we are lucky to be able to steward her life. She is wild, Carlos thinks she's just like me. We are going to be given a run for our money if so... Need to harness that energy. And I feel partially fulfilled in being her mom.

Yet, in the stillness, I know that I am not using all the gifts I was created with in full... and I feel a loss in that. I have tried to use my gifts in different capacities, with new student pilots and their wives, with new moms, with neighbors, with friends. I have entered into the depths with people in tragedy, going through divorce, facing lay-offs, or monumental hurdles in their personal lives. God can always use a willing heart to serve. I was asked to take a position in Los' squadron, we were asked to lead a Marriage Enrichment group... we are discovering the rhythm or work and volunteering coupled with parenthood; it's quite different than when we were single, with only ourselves to consider!

I just don't want to get stagnant. I don't want to atrophy. The best analogy I can think of is of a race horse, who is trapped in it's stall. I am chomping at the bit, but I have nowhere to go. And my muscles are atrophying from being stuck. So those of you who are so inclined, please pray that I will not get complacent or forgetful of my passions during this interesting season of life. In the day in and day out humdrum of life, it is easy to ignore the depths of your heart and what really makes you on fire. At least it is for me. But I met a girl a couple of weeks ago, a college student who is home for a break from school. She is hurting, because her brother tragically died recently. Another brother just left for the Middle East. I barely know her yet, but in meeting her, all these things started stirring in me, and if she allows me to get to know her, I can't wait to lavish her with love. Meeting her reminded me who I am and what I'm good at. So I hope.

And I hope that you have people in your life who remind you who you are. We are not defined by our present circumstances, but something, someone much greater.

You have to start somewhere.

2009-11-08T11:09:00.001-08:00

So I'm starting here.

For Joe and Bret

2009-11-03T20:10:00.000-08:00

REMEMBER THE RANGERS

Tragedy and Grace: If His Grace is an Ocean, We're all Sinking...

2009-11-01T12:59:00.000-08:00

Do you ever walk around somewhere, like a grocery store, or a mall, or somewhere public, and wonder how people can feel joy when you feel like the world is falling apart? I do.

My heart broke this week as not one, but TWO military casualties happened in this country. War is one thing, but when training squadrons have accidents in our homeland, that is devastating in a different way... I remember each time Carlos left for the middle east/Asia in our last duty station I would kind of hold my breath for the months he was gone... A deep sadness would come over me on the day he left, not knowing if I'd ever see the love of my life again... And every time he came back, I could relax again, thanking God for his return.

Being stationed down here at a training squadron, I never even contemplated his life being in danger. But he flies a plane. Planes are amazing. But dangerous. And things can go wrong in planes. I forgot that. Until this week... Many of our friends know the two pilots who were killed here, and some even know members of the Coast Guard/Marines crash in California... Though I didn't know them personally, my heart grieves, knowing that there is a wife here, going to bed each night, and touching her pregnant belly, knowing that her husband will never again sleep beside her, and her baby will never meet it's daddy, nor will her toddler get to jump up into daddy's arms again... Elsewhere, there is a highschool sweetheart who was just engaged to the other Lieutenant who died. She won't get to wear white, walk down the aisle, and look into her love's eyes, imagining forever. All of her hopes and dreams and plans were dashed in an instant. Not to mention countless friends and family members who are aching...

So my heart is sad. Claire and I were supposed to go to Seattle for 10 days, but after this happened, we decided to stay here with Los. It was good to be together as a family, and we drove up to Houston for a night. We had the hard talk about what would happen in the future and for Claire (and future kids) if either of us, or both of us died. That was tear-inducing, to say the least. We made a list of friends whom we admire around the country and who could raise our baby in a way that we are in-line with. If you made the cut, you'll be getting a call:)

On our drive, I spent some time listening to the lyrics of the Crowder Band's new cd. Why do they always coincide album releases with huge things that happen in our lives? Anyway, sitting under the lyrics of How He Loves, I was/am really wrestling with the line, "if His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking..." Sinking is too visceral an image, given that these pilots just sunk into the Gulf and Pacific. I don't want to sink. I don't want to drown. I want to wear arm floaties:) I want to remain safe. At all costs. Which can translate at times into not putting my trust in God. You have to surrender a lot to sink. And you may have to suffer. Will have to suffer. I know God suffered, and is with us in our suffering, I felt that acutely on Thursday as we had a gathering at Oso Creek for the lost pilots. Many tears were shed and God's presence was palpable amidst the pain...

So it's a sad week in our community... Hugging my hubby and babe just a little bit tighter and thankful for each day of life with them.

Please pray for the two families here...

2009-10-29T08:46:00.000-07:00

Claire has been sleeping almost 14 hours... maybe she's as reluctant to face this day as I am. So sad about the T-34 crash here yesterday, and hard to go on as normal, knowing that 2 daddies didn't come home to their beds last night and their kids don't get to see them today...
http://www.caller.com/news/2009/oct/29/navy-instructor-pilots-and-training-plane-not/

Hawaii Photos

2009-10-26T09:29:00.000-07:00

You can see them HERE!

We are so proud!

2009-10-13T08:33:00.000-07:00

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Like German Shepherds? Thinking of getting a dog?

2009-10-08T22:01:00.000-07:00

A German Shepherd rescue group called Camp Wolfgang , in Ennis , Texas is closing down because of family issues on 31 October. I don’t have any additional details, other than they are closing their doors.

All the dogs are vetted, spayed/neutered, micro-chipped, well cared-for and many have had training.

They have nearly 200 dogs that must find a foster or be adopted before 31 October or they will have no choice but to euthanize them all.

I am shocked by this and I hope you are too.

If you cannot help by fostering or adopting...YOU CAN STILL HELP!!!

Please forward this information to everyone you know...if we all forward this to everyone we know, chances are good that many of these dogs can be saved!

They do not need or want donations, they simply MUST place all of the dogs.

Adoption fees are $75.00, free to verifiable rescue groups.

Current dogs: (approximate)
120 German Shepherds
2 Akitas
1 Anatolian/Great Pyrenees
4 Purebred Rottweiler
1 Great Dane/Lab
1 Boxer/Mastiff
1 St. Bernard/Akita
1 WolfDog
45 Other mixed breeds

Time is of the essence!!

If you know anyone who can adopt, accept a dog into their rescue, or help in any way, contact Neisha Livengood, Kennel Master at Camp Wolfgang.

Neisha Livengood
windigo1966@yahoo.com
phone: 214-755-1627
Camp Wolfgang
6234 FM 879
Ennis , Texas 75119
www.campwolfgang.petfinder.com

TRAVEL= what we do best

2009-09-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I've updated this blog... having an infant will do that to ya... We are exploiting her immobile season by traveling a heck of a lot... We started off small, going to Austin for the 4th of July when she was three weeks old. That instilled confidence in me in this new season of life. We then went to Houston when she was 6 weeks old...

Next came the flying season, oh dear Lord was I nervous for her first flights! She wailed with the best of them when the rude security guy in San Antonio made her get out of her carseat, where she was comfortably slumbering, to go through security. But, like a champ, she conquered the first 4 flights to the west coast and back. We had a great time introducing her to extended family in CA and Vegas.

Next up is a spontaneous trip to NYC. We'll see Los' brother and my aunt, and one of my childhood friends, as well as a high school friend who's in town. Looking forward to that! It will be special to take Claire to where my mom grew up and the stables where her horse lived...

Then we go back to Austin for the eponymous music festival, going to see Dave Matthews Band, Mute Math and some other fun shows...

After that is a trip to Hawai'i! My first! Claire is experiencing all these firsts way ahead of me, such as when we rode in a limo to In-n-Out in Vegas... I'm a bridesmaid for beautiful Amie, Claire's best auntie, and if Claire could walk, then she'd be in the wedding too. But her job is to just sit there and look cute, which she has down pat.

After Hawai'i, we are travelling to Seattle for 10 days! Because why trick or treat in your own time zone? We are looking forward to her meeting all of our friends there! Especially excited that Shannon will be in town from Florida with one of her newborn twins!

After Seattle, we'll go back to Houston to spend Thanksgiving with some lovely friends.

And lastly we'll return to Seattle for 10 days for Christmas... By then she may be starting to crawl, and after that, I'll be putting travel on hold for a while:) Hope to see you somewhere along our journeys?!

Carpe diem.

SEATTLE-ITES: anyone looking for a place to rent?

2009-08-31T17:33:00.000-07:00

Dear friends in Seattle,
If any of you are looking for a place to rent this fall, our best friends are listing their beautiful, remodeled home on Queen Anne! It's a 2/1 in a great location, and they're asking $2000/month. If any of you want their contact info, write or call us and we will message you with it!

Claire's First Book

2009-08-25T23:02:00.000-07:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

Our Daughter likes to talk! Imagine her as a teenager...

2009-08-24T21:05:00.000-07:00

">Claire's Post Bath Babble

Maybe she'll be an Olympian after all?

2009-08-19T21:36:00.000-07:00

Before she was born, we decided that Claire would become a swimmer: good cardiovascular exercise without the high-impact on joints, etc. Plus, let's be honest here, swimmers don't usually have big boobs. Can I write boobs? Is that awkward? Anyway, so we decided we'd promote swimming, and she could choose whatever other activities she wants along the way...

It turns out that our smily baby likes the water as much as her Pisces mom! We started taking her in the pool this week (10 weeks old) and here are a few shots of day one, plus her cute bikini from the Moseley's- thanks Ainsley/Elise!!

It turns out that activity in the pool makes for GREAT NAPS afterwards as well!! Hooray for that. She was so tuckered out yesterday and today that she even fell asleep before we got home from the pool (which is like a 50 yard walk, 5 houses down...)

Chunky Monkey Evans- our fat 2 month old baby

2009-08-07T16:56:00.000-07:00

We pray biblical things over Claire all the time, for her future; as she grows in age, may she grow in grace... One concept she already has down is mercy. She was merciful to me upon arrival, that is for sure. When she was born, her head was in the 25th percentile. Her weight was in the 30th percentile, and her length was in the 54th percentile. Small easy baby to give birth to.

NOW, just a mere two months later, her head is in the 95th percentile, her length is in the 97th and her weight is in the 100th percentile!!! She has grown almost 4 inches and gained 6.5 lbs. Babies generally double their birthweight around 4-6 months... Claire will probably do it by 2 1/2! This is wild, I feel like we've watched her grow at warp speed, never in her life will she grow as much as this first year... And all the growing has left her much more content than she was at 6lbs, 15oz.

Once she was 6 weeks and had packed some weight on, she was able to start sleeping through the night; another merciful act. Right now she's sleeping from about 11pm-5 or 6 am, taking a 1/2 hour feed; and then going back to sleep until around 11am. She's got her 3 naps during the day down as well, ending with one in the stroller, while I walk at 8pm. She and I have logged 40 miles in the past 2 weeks! Here are some recent photos of our little chunky monkey; life is sweet with her, she has even won over her daddy with her coos and snuggles and smiles. I love watching them together!

Which Kid Do We Love Most? The human or the dog?

2009-07-31T16:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Burly Bear, our favorite kid.
Pre-Claire beach and home lounging...

The World's Best Dog, Burlington Philippe Evans, call sign: Tornado, turns 3 today. We are celebrating him and loving him even more now that he's the best big brother to Claire. He snuggles with her all day and is always curious about her, he even takes naps in her nursery. The verdict is still out which kid we love more, but we both lean towards him. I'm sure this will change, and it's a good thing Claire won't remember us saying we love the dog more than her; but it's true...

iPhone help

2009-07-31T15:57:00.000-07:00

Can anyone tell me HOW to post videos we are taking of Claire on our iPhones?

Before giving birth I didn't realize...

2009-07-13T14:29:00.000-07:00

(this one is for all the moms out there)
One month ago I didn't realize:
The value of having grandparents close by, and what a loss it is not to have them close daily...

How close this experience would make me to my own mom...

That multiple days could pass (at first) without me leaving our house...

That 20 pounds could disappear in one week! Amen...

That I could survive without a full night's sleep, getting conditioned to shorter stretches...

That I would "hear" my baby's cry, even when she was sound asleep...

That I would be able to walk a 5K less than a month after giving birth...

That taking a 4 hour road trip by myself with an infant could be possible...

That my bad (fast) driving wouldn't change with my new precious cargo, bummer...

That going to the bathroom (TMI) could be scary at first and such a challenge with stitches:)

That bras were made in a size H! Uggh.

That something as natural as breastfeeding would be so hard for me, and that something as stupid as low milk production could make me feel like a failure in life.

But that supplementing would be the course we have to take.

And seeing a 10 pound, one month old, asleep in her crib would be the most beautiful sight ever.

Lots of stuff I didn't realize til this past month... I could go on (like how fast/high weeds grow in a month in my yard in the summer) I am glad to know that life goes on post-baby. We've taken Claire to restaurants, churches, grocery and clothes shopping, a baseball game, the beach, all over Austin, etc. Not bad for less than 5 weeks of life.

Baseball is ticket to traveling the world- sweet article about my little brother

2009-07-12T14:06:00.000-07:00

Baseball is ticket to traveling the world
Published online on Saturday, Jul. 11, 2009
By Matt James / The Fresno Bee
For 50,000 rupiah, you can eat as if you're on death row: shrimp, lobster, beers until the bartender suffers carpal tunnel syndrome.

Rupiah is how you buy things in Indonesia, and 50,000 rupiah is worth about $5. You can feast for five bucks, and go nowhere near a Dollar Menu. Financially speaking, if you could commute cheaply from your current job to a home in Indonesia, you would be in much better shape.

Whitney Pierce went to Southeast Asia with a few hundred bucks and, well, he didn't live like a king, but he made it quite a while. For $2 a day, he slept in a hut on a beach in Thailand. He surfed in Bali. He caught a ride on an elephant.

Pretty much everyone who dreams of making it big in professional sports has to wake up eventually. "It's a numbers game," as Pierce says, and he's right. For every guy who made it, there are 1,000 who didn't because of a bad knee or bad luck or a bad attitude.

And lets face it, somebody has to be not quite good enough, right?

Pierce was a dreamer. He still is, though baseball reality long ago slapped him across the face. He graduated from Clovis West High in 2000 and went to Cuesta College to play catcher. He was drafted by the Baltimore Orioles in the 32nd round and then turned down a scholarship from Lewis-Clark College to turn pro. (The Orioles promised him $10,000 for tuition down the road.)

It went like a lot of minor league baseball stories go, three years of playing in towns in Florida and West Virginia and Maryland, until the Orioles released him in 2005. The Chicago Cubs organization picked him up for two months, then Pierce injured his hamstring and headed for independent baseball, the Gateway Grizzles of the Frontier League and the Chico Outlaws of the Golden League.

And when it came time to move on, when his mind and gut told him he would never make the big leagues, that it was time to do "real-life stuff," Pierce instead got another chance. This time, baseball would show him the world.

After the 2006 season, he already had gotten a couple of jobs in San Diego, one at a gym, another doing part-time construction. He'd never had a job before, never done anything but baseball. It felt pretty suffocating.

It was about that time, Pierce got an e-mail from a baseball team in Switzerland. They wanted to fly him to Europe, give him an apartment, pay his living expenses and give him travel money. And all he had to do was play baseball and do a little coaching now and then.

It seems there was a man putting the profiles of out-of-work American baseball players on his global scouting Web site. The guy even called Pierce to ask if he could represent him.

Pierce is certainly not your average young person, let alone baseball player, massive curly hair and a lot more free spirit than most. His parents are that way, too. His dad, Greg Pierce, is a teacher at Roosevelt High. His mother, Randy Robinson, is a psychologist. (Of his mother's job, Pierce says, "That's why I'm so normal and have such good people-talking skills.") They had dubbed him "Whitney" before they knew whether he was a boy or a girl, named for Mt. Whitney. When asked why parents would name a baby after a mountain, the normally outgoing and hysterical Pierce quickly gets quiet and says, "No comment." Ah, got it.

Before Switzerland ever e-mailed, Pierce already had traveled all over Southeast Asia by himself, backpacking and camping, eating the mysterious, living on a few hundred bucks. So, of course, he said yes, even if the Swiss baseball and the pay were equally terrible.

After that season in Europe, he got to thinking, if there's bad baseball here, there has to be bad baseball other places. And then he was playing in Germany for a season and then Australia for a season and then he was picked up by a team in the Netherlands. He hit in the lineup alongside a garbage man and a student from the Czech Republic.

"I've had baseball buy my plane tickets to six different countries," he says.

At age 27, his passport says he's visited more countries than most Americans have visited states. Luxembourg was No. 23. France was No. 24.

Some parents would be lecturing about education and responsibility and getting a job that pays, but his tell him how lucky he is.

"If it wasn't for my family," Pierce says, "I would have been in San Diego doing regular jobs. They've just said, Go do this. Go do this while you can."

He's been to the Eiffel Tower, hiked the Swiss Alps, visited Angkor Wat, the famous temples in Cambodia. Sure, he could do all this later, but the question is a good one: Would he?

"Is anyone really going to do that now that they've got a job and a kid and a wife?" he asks.

He could do this forever. There will always be another team and another league and another country. He could drag his guitar all over the world to play ball. A Division 3 team in Holland offered to put him in a hut above a beer factory in a league that uses aluminum bats once a week.

A lot of kids go to college and supposedly get ready for life. Whitney Pierce went to life and got ready for college. He might play ball another season or two, but he's ready to go back to school.

"The first time I went, I didn't really want to be there," he says. "I wanted to play baseball. I wanted to talk to girls and party. This gap in my life has me ready for school."

I'm convinced Pierce was in school all along. A really great field trip.

One Month Old

2009-07-09T20:31:00.001-07:00

Well our little missy is one month old today. I can't believe I've made it this far. It has been a rough transition, to say the least. We think Claire is the world's most perfect little creature, and yet we've had fleeting homicidal thoughts. She has made me feel more deeply in love, and more crazy than ever. What a wild month. I will post some pics soon, maybe tomorrow? After all, she did just get her second bath of the month, she's clean... She now weighs 10lbs!! 9lbs, 15oz. to be exact, but I round up. That is a gain of 3lbs. since her lowest weight. If she stays at this speed, she'll be 43 lbs by her birthday:) Let's hope she slows down... She's gained so much probably because we've been supplementing with formula, and she's gone through a few growth spurts where she was throwing down 5oz. a feeding, and does nothing but sleep and eat, pretty good life.

Not being able to solely breast feed has been really tough on me, I have felt like a "failure" since my milk supply never matched her demand. This has been the biggest headache of the past month, even though we've met with 2 lactation consultants and tried special herbs and I've pumped more than the local dairy... Many a tear has been shed over this issue, but the bright side of this whole situation is that at least our girl is healthy and thriving.

It was REALLY good for me to take her on a road trip up to Austin the past weekend (Thursday-Monday). I go a little crazy when I stay home all day, and if there's anything I'm good at, it's road-tripping. Of course the 3.5 hour trip took longer with a baby to feed and a dog in tow, on a 100 degree day. But we made it! And they travelled like champs. It was restorative to get out of town for the first time since our trip to Seattle in March (I didn't feel like traveling much the last 2 months of the pregnancy) and going to a city that we love for 4 nights was awesome (free- courtesy of your tax dollars, thank you very much). Los flew there and got in an hour after we arrived. I picked him up at a special airport for private planes and famous people (ever wonder why you never see them in the airports? I just found out, they don't have to travel with the masses, lame) My mom (our nanny, best gift ever!) flew in to hang out with Claire, and Los and I got to go on our first post-partum date. We went kayaking and to lunch at a popular Austin restaurant... Then we met Kiesha and Dave for dinner and we got to listen to the symphony's outdoor performance and watch fireworks over the river (the Colorado river goes through town) that night. We did a lot of shopping and went to church at Austin Stone (the church Chris Tomlin used to be at)- big fans! Both times we've taken Claire to church it has been really moving for me; praying over her little life is one of our favorite things to do, and holding her little hand with one of my fingers, while singing, was really special...

All in all a GREAT weekend, I mean, someone else even got to vacuum up all of puggy's hair! What could be better than that?

Little CB is 3 weeks old... time for a ROAD TRIP.

2009-07-01T14:33:00.000-07:00

She will never be 6, 7, or 8 pounds again... kind of sad. She's starting to really fill out her NB size clothes, but still a bit too small for the 0-3 month size. I am driving with her and Burly (and no Los!) to Austin tomorrow; pray for me:) I'm nervous to take her so far by myself. Los is flying a plane up there to meet us for 3 nights. AND my mom spontaneously bought a ticket and is also flying into A-town. It will be awesome to celebrate the 4th of July there.

We're all doing the FREEDOM 5000, 5K. I will be walking with the stroller... And that night, along with over 100,000 of our closest neighbors, we'll hear a free performance of the Austin Symphony on the lake next to downtown, followed by the requisite fireworks show. Exciting. Kiesha and Dave are headed up there too, and we are excited to play in Austin for the long weekend. I love it there. I just hope traveling with an infant is not too challenging! You can see more photos of ClaireHERE.

Entering the Parent 'Hood

2009-06-25T17:15:00.000-07:00

So two weeks after miss Claire Dahlia's birth, I am happy to report that my head is above water. Even without grandparents. I was scared to death of my parents leaving and Los going back to work; but it has gone much better than I thought. Mercifully, Claire sleeps awesome at night, so after my first day solo-parenting; she allowed me 9 (!!!) hours of sleep. In chunks, obviously, but still.. Thank you Jesus! I've been running errands in the afternoon, since Claire isn't so much into her afternoon naps, but a ride in the car or shopping cart/car seat does the trick.

She is becoming quite the porker. After slipping down into the 6lb. range, she gained 2 POUNDS by her two week checkup. That's a 1/3 of her weight, crazy... On the one hand, I'm so happy she's thriving. On the other hand, I'm already getting sad that she's growing so quickly. Before she was born, I used to buy her all these clothes and stare for long periods at her closet, imagining the little girl that would grow into all those outfits. Yesterday, at Target, I bought her a sleeper for a year from now. As I looked at the discrepancy between the NB size, and 12 months size, I got so sad. She's going to get big so soon. My sweet little baby is going to grow up so fast. Now when I look at her closet, I am sad.

All that to say, when 2am and 5am feedings roll around, or she cries, and I am fatigued; I am trying to remember that this season of life is SO SHORT. Before I know it, she won't be nursing; so I should savor the time together... She is so beautiful and so tiny and so soft, and I want to savor this season while it is here; not wish for the next season... How often do we miss the treasures of today, because our sights are set on tomorrow?

Not to paint the picture of perfection, as we've had our low moments the past couple weeks as well, so I'll throw in a fave quote: to a crying Claire, late at night, "I just want you to be happy." Los, "Not me, I just want you to shut up." And to match his humanity, I definitely already dropped an F-bomb. In regards to a two week old. Classy. Low moment. Amazing how someone only 8 pounds can break the will of two grown ups:)

So that's the update for now, pics to follow...

Impending doom, I mean parenthood- AARRRGGGGHHHH MATEY! Walk the plank!

2009-06-08T05:36:00.001-07:00

In honor of my mom, who is flying to TX for the 3rd time this year, today (and let's be honest, it won't be the last time, she's fired up to be a grandma, and it's NOT cheap or convenient to get here)- an analogy. My mom lives for metaphors, says approximately 1 per waking minute and can not relate to humans who do not have this capacity. While I harass her for the incessant need to make an analogy out of ev-er-y-thing, truthfully, I love an apt metaphor as much as anyone else. They take intelligence/creativity to form, and when I read one that's spot on in a book, I have the urge to highlight it or fold the corner of the page down. I don't do it, but I have the urge. Anyway, so the metaphor I came up with in bed...

I feel as though I am walking the plank today, off the ship of my life, into the tumultuous and mysterious waters of parenthood beneath. I don't know how to swim. I am afraid I'll drown. I can't see the bottom, the water is murky, unlike pools, which I prefer to ocean (for cleanliness alone- clearly the sand and sound of waves are superior). I know that God, and prayer, and countless hosts of other parents will be lifeboats, life vests, lifeguards, you name it, for us... I'm grateful for that. But it doesn't take away my feeling of fright over the imminent and permanent change. I loved our boat, it was fun, adventurous and safe, not to mention all I've ever known- it has been a good ride the past 30 years. That all changes today. So pray for us as we walk the plank and jump into the unknown adventures that await us. We read Scripture in Claire's nursery and prayed for her and our family last night, we are ready to meet her. So here we go...

Pregnancy Schizophrenia and Tattoos

2009-06-07T13:36:00.000-07:00

When I found out I was pregnant, no one told me not to be attached to my due date. So rather than putting my weight down on June 3 or 5, I even went as far as telling myself Claire was coming in May. Then May ended, and I was bummed. For a pretty superficial reason (I wanted her to be able to bring cupcakes to her classroom and to be sang to on her day), but I was bummed nonetheless.

I'm not sure schizophrenia is the proper term, in fact, it probably isn't; but I have felt like I had a split-personality lately. In week 38 I was positive I wanted to induce 10 days early, as early as the doc would let me:) Then Los and I talked and I took that stance back. It felt a little bit like we were trying to play God to pick her birthdate and force it to be early. "Okay, let's wait to her due date to induce," was plan b... However, when we reached that mark, I had started to lean toward letting Claire stay inside as long as she wanted... After all, what if she's small and needed the extra time to grow? We were hoping for an 8 lb. baby, and she certainly wouldn't have been if we'd taken her out early. That is, if the sonographers were right (she was predicted to be right at 7.5 lbs from her bone measurements).

Now at 41 weeks I don't want to be induced, I am not that uncomfortable and don't mind her hanging out inside a bit longer, but now the OB is saying it's time to get the show on the road. Funny how we've switched places from me asking her and her hesitating to me hesitating at her request:)

This is me at 41 weeks preggo. I never thought I would get to this place, but my due date came and went this past week, and apparently my body and Claire have zero interest in parting ways. Unfortunately for both of them, my doctor does have an interest in us parting ways. So since I have not progressed at all and am almost a week past due, we are going to induce TOMORROW. Woah. I am the highest candidate for a c-section possible, so that is a bummer... Let's hope that my body takes to the stuff it is given and progresses tomorrow night and Tuesday!

So this may be the last post- pre our family expanding... We have had a sweet time together, enjoying all these "extra" days before life as we know it changes... We've slept in, been to movies (UP and The Hangover), we've been out to eat multiple times, I got a pedicure (pink!) and massage, we've organized the crap out of our house (all those projects we were saving for "some day" got done), and we've had fun with Burly at the beach, see below. Also, Los took the first step of his long-time goal of inking himself. He took the monogram Joel designed for our wedding and had it put on his heart. When he first told me about wanting a tattoo, I was super anti, but over the years the idea has grown on me to the point that I was as excited as he was. It looks great and I like how meaningful it is.

Whenever Burly thinks we're leaving somewhere and he has to stay behind, he flops down like this and won't move, it is so funny. Sometimes (if it's on carpet) I literally push him with my feet and he stays flopped over like that.

But he LOVES going to the beach, the water is his favorite thing and he loves to run around like a maniac. We have enjoyed sunsets at the beach a lot lately, knowing that we won't get to do that for a little bit once Claire is here.

So wish us luck, pray for us, and we'll see you on the flip side of parenthood! And p.s. yes, it's legal to park on the beach here, everyone does. And yes, I find that very strange. But there's nowhere else to park!

Pregnancy Amnesia

2009-05-21T05:51:00.000-07:00

I've heard that in labor and delivery, you not only push out a little person, but also your brain, which is what makes moms so forgetful. On the one hand, I've heard it's humbling to forget things that used to be ingrained in your memory, on the other hand, I've read that it's good to forget the pain we go through, or no mom would ever get pregnant a second time. So at 38 weeks, before I totally lose my mind; I thought I'd write an account of what pregnancy has been like for me:

*week 0- Our 3rd wedding Anniversary in September
*week 7-8- feeling a little "off" hormonally, but thought it was depression b/c of our x-c move
Things I did that I maybe/probably shouldn't have during pregnancy: drink wine, tequila, vodka, etc., take steroids (in my eye!) that cause birth defects, eat sushi/soft cheeses/deli meat, rides at amusement parks, skiing black diamonds in CO, and others I'm sure I'm forgetting (probably best).
*week 9-10- feeling acid reflux-y, went to 2 docs, was told I have an ulcer, then GERD. Meat/fish aversion also started; I've gotten protein from dairy/nuts mostly.
*week 10- 3rd doc confirmed pregnancy, heard heartbeat that day, weird. I was in shock. Went to the library, checked out a few books.
*week 11-16- shock gave way to nausea, I puked 1x/week but felt gross daily- things that made me sick: the smell of meat, Burly, Los, brushing my teeth, spitting and sight of mold. I normally love to cuddle with Burly, I couldn't stand the smell of him for over a month. It was very sad.
Also during this time, my sense of smell was on overdrive (lame superpower)- going to the grocery store was almost intolerable b/c of the bombardment of smells.
*week 16-17- first felt baby kick
*week 18- had a minor freak out that "life as we know it is about to be over!" We took an impromptu BabyMoon to CO and skied Crested Butte, one of the most gorgeous places I've ever been. This is also the last place I threw up.
*week 19- started to wear 2 pairs of maternity pants, which I later returned.
*week 21- found out it was a girl, named her Claire, and finally felt excited for the first time about this new season of life.
*week 23- started having Round Ligament Pains on long walks, scary at first, then I got used to them.
*week 25- bought maternity clothes and started to wear them, though I still wear my own clothes too.
*week 26- started having to pee way more, sleep being interrupted- sad. Also sound sensitivity started.
*week 29-30- travelled to west coast via plane, feet swelled for the first time, that was alarming. Realized the importance of hydration/elevation.
*week 31- Claire much more active, to point of watching her move inside my skin. Felt like a little alien in the tummy.
*week 32- face getting more oily and stretch marks came- NOT a fan of either!! Another sucky thing was that my calves started to hurt after sleeping/not moving enough, Los was kind enough to squeeze them occasionally when they bugged me.
*week 35-36- starting to get less comfortable, feeling pelvic pressure, and stopped going on long walks, 1 mile is fine with me now. Also started randomly losing my breath since my diaphragm is being squished.
*week 36- feet swelled for the second time. I fell and cut/bruised my leg/hip badly. And my not-friend, reflux, came back. Also, we built her nursery furniture the past couple of weeks.
*week 37-38- hands/thumbs have started to hurt in my sleep (carpal tunnel or circulation?) and I said goodbye to my wedding rings at week 38. Boo. Also we just put her carseat in the car! Now I feel legit, bring it on.

I'm sure I am forgetting some things, but this is all I can think of right now. Largely, it's been an uneventful pregnancy; the transitions/pains I've felt have all been pretty standard. The only interesting thing was when the sonographers couldn't find Claire's left hand- I was sad about that for a few weeks, but then they found it. My pain tolerance has increased some, but I've also had an easier time than some, with no abnormal things to watch out for, which we're grateful for. My blood pressure has stayed the same the entire time and weight gain was negligible the first trimester. I gained 5 lbs. by week 20, another 15 by week 30, and 5 in the past 8 weeks. I was afraid of gaining a lot of weight, but am glad mostly I have just craved fruit/ice water during the pregnancy. I did have a couple weeks where I wanted ice cream/popsicles (sugar) and pickles/chips (salt), but those subsided quickly. Some women stressed me out about physical ailments/bed rest during pregnancy- but thankfully that hasn't been the case for me. Now I am just spending time "nesting," getting our house ready and Claire's nursery ready, and soon I will be packing my hospital bag, since Claire already weighs over 6.5lbs. and her due date is in 2 short weeks.

Pregnancy/Life Update from the world's worst blogger

2009-05-17T13:07:00.000-07:00

In my mind I think about blogging. But when it comes time to sit down and do it, I just don't make the time. Sorry folks. But most of you are on Facebook by now, so I don't feel bad, you still have access to our lives, stories, and photos, just in a different venue. But for the 2 or 3 of you who've yet to join that time-sucking social networking tool, here are some photos of my pregnancy and the past 3 months of our lives. I finally took them off our camera to share them.
PHOTOS
It has been a busy, glorious, tragic time... I don't even know where I left off, so where to begin... Our trips west were amazing. Seeing friends/family, visiting places we love, eating food we like, etc. were all such treats. It was hard to come back to TX. But April zoomed by as we got Claire's nursery ready and read way too many books on what the heck to do with her when she comes. I had another baby shower here 2 weeks ago, and we have practically everything we need, which is nice.

Los loves his job, and has had great opportunities to fly and invest in younger guys here, both work related and otherwise. We love the squadron we are a part of, it's a great community, and are enjoying lots of times with others (sharing meals, game nights, watching our minor league baseball team play, and yesterday I think there were something like 8 teams of 6 members each that completed the Beach to Bay Relay Marathon; Los' team got a 3:02- really fast, considering that 4 miles were on sand!) Friendships are growing down here, which is great; and we love living down the street from Kiesh/Dave the newlyweds. Our other great neighbor friends Gabe and Meredith are people we see/love a lot too. Gabe was in a (car-totalling) gnarly car accident 2 weeks ago, and should have died; but miraculously, his life was spared. We've spent some good time with them and he is doing so much better, and will get to see their baby boy be born in 3 months, amen! While visiting him in the Emergency Dept. I felt nostalgic about my time last year as an ICU/ED chaplain. I don't know if that will be part of my future, but I missed it. I think working part-time preaching will probably be all I do the next two years, but we'll see.

Lastly, our pregnancy is almost over. We're excited about that, I'm bored by pregnancy; I feel like I endure it as a means to an end, but not really enjoy it. Lots of women I know LOVE being pregnant. I am not one of those people, and I am okay with that. I don't hate it either, but I feel like I put up with it more than relish in it. It's annoying to me when people talk to me, that's the first/sometimes only thing they want to ask about. I know their hearts are in a good place, I just don't always want to talk about it. At least they don't rub my tummy:) Only a few gals do that. At 38 weeks, I'm not too physically uncomfortable to be miserable, in that regard Claire could stay inside for months and I wouldn't mind. She has not over-stayed her welcome, she has never kicked me in the ribs, or anything like that.

I'm just bored; on with it already, let's get the show on the road. I feel grateful that I haven't gained too much weight, and am still able to sleep on my stomach, and do most everything I would otherwise, but after all the reading and nursery-preparing we've done, we just want to hang out with Claire; waiting for her to come out is getting old. AND, though I haven't had physical issues with pregnancy, 2 weeks ago at a squadron event, wives got to go in the planes and taxi them around the runway. This was SO much FUN (it is harder than it looks! did you know you steer a plane with your feet?!) BUT, when I was climbing out of the pilot's seat, I lost my balance (thank you bowling ball/dead weight attached to my front) and fell- splitting open my pants and leg, bleeding everywhere on the plane, awesome. I have a bruise the length of my shin bones and my scabs are going to leave a memorable scar. My hip also was hurt, and I'd like to get an MRI asap to see if any ligament damage was sustained; but this has to wait for Claire to come out. So in that regard, it will be nice to carry less weight around:) I don't want to complain too much, since it could be WAY worse- my friend Jodi tore her ACL/MCL/PCL and cartilege, just had knee surgery this week; I am grateful to be as mobile as I am at 38 weeks, even with this stupid injury. I just want to heal.

So that's the big update. Maybe I'll take some nursery photos and throw them up here. Everything else should be visible in that photo album I posted; let me know if you can't access it for whatever reason. Hopefully I'll get back to blogging semi-regularly soon. After all, I hear that new parents rarely sleep, this could give me something productive to do:)

Resurrection reflection (Mary Magdalene)

2009-04-12T11:40:00.000-07:00

Here's something I wrote at this time two years ago. According to my stat counter, people from all over the world (Australia, England) are reading this this week. So in honor of Easter, I just thought I'd throw it back up there- it's from the point of view of Mary Magdalene. Be blessed.
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“Mary.” Hearing that one simple word, my name, changed everything. To be honest, I was crying so hysterically when I first saw him that I didn’t even recognize him! I thought he was the gardener. The gardener! Didn’t he teach that he was “the vine and his Father was the gardener?” Well God, I guess he is looking more and more like you the longer I know him.

When he said my name, all the confusion and chaos of the past couple of days came to a halt. All of a sudden my identity felt secure and affirmed. I never pictured Jesus going about things this way, but there he was, alive, and once again, helping me understand truth. He calls me by name, he calls us by name, he meets each of us where we are, and has the power to restore everything that’s broken.

In any case, I had been so upset because I thought maybe someone had stolen his body. Everything that had happened the past couple of days was almost unbearably heart-wrenching. Seeing my teacher, my friend, up there on the cross was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced. Perfection sandwiched between criminals. Dying a humiliating death in front of people who persecuted him up until he gave up his last breath. Why did it have to be like that? He used to hint about this, but it was too cryptic for me to imagine what was really going to happen.

And there was an earthquake as he died. It was as though the earth was grieving the loss as well. I couldn’t tell which was louder, the chasms being split open on the ground, or the crashing happening inside my heart. Both were devastating. That morning was so dark. The clouds that came over the sun came over my spirit as well.

And then I was supposed to prepare for Sabbath? Yeah right. I felt angry, I felt restless, I felt out-of-control; the last thing I wanted to do was be still. There was no peace to be found this week. I stayed as long as I could outside the tomb. His mom and I and some others reminisced about Jesus’ impact on our lives. I don’t know if it was good or bad to do, since it made us all the more grieved.

I remembered the state I was in when he first found me. I was a mess. I usually don’t like to think about the demons that haunted me, but for a long time they were all I knew. They kind of ‘defined’ me. I believed a lot of lies about myself back then. When Jesus came into my life, he got rid of all of them. I didn’t have the power to do that on my own, and believe me, I had tried lots of ways to seek peace before meeting him.

Go figure, he was the only way to true peace. And he still is. When I was crying in the garden and he came to me, and said my name, I felt a surge of joy run up through my body. I hadn’t felt that in days, and I grabbed him, wanting to be as close as possible.
He said I couldn’t hold on to him, though. That he wasn’t staying. He was going to be with his Father, and told me to tell everyone about him. So that’s what I do now. I tell people, like you, about Jesus. I tell of his teachings, and how he changed my life. And the joy and peace I have now can’t be shaken. He is alive. And he calls me by name.

What's Good about Good Friday?

2009-04-10T13:24:00.000-07:00

There can be no joy of Easter without the pain of today; no resurrection without death. Here is some of the text of my favorite sobering hymn for today, expressing our depth of gratitude; I fell in love with this text in college a decade ago. It was written 1000 years ago by St. Bernard of Clairvaux. For those of you taking notes, I would like this to be sung at my funeral.

O sacred Head, now wounded, with grief and shame weighed down,
Now scornfully surrounded with thorns, Thine only crown;
O sacred Head, what glory, what bliss till now was Thine!
Yet, though despised and gory, I joy to call Thee mine.

What Thou, my Lord, hast suffered, was all for sinners’ gain;
Mine, mine was the transgression, but Thine the deadly pain.
Lo, here I fall, my Savior! ’Tis I deserve Thy place;
Look on me with Thy favor, vouchsafe to me Thy grace.

What language shall I borrow to thank Thee, dearest friend,
For this Thy dying sorrow, Thy pity without end?
O make me Thine forever, and should I fainting be,
Lord, let me never, never outlive my love to Thee.

My Shepherd, now receive me; my Guardian, own me Thine.
Great blessings Thou didst give me, O source of gifts divine.
Thy lips have often fed me with words of truth and love;
Thy Spirit oft hath led me to heavenly joys above.

Be Thou my consolation, my shield when I must die;
Remind me of Thy passion when my last hour draws nigh.
Mine eyes shall then behold Thee, upon Thy cross shall dwell,
My heart by faith enfolds Thee. Who dieth thus dies well.

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There's an Alien in my Tummy (and other ramblings)

2009-04-10T11:29:00.000-07:00

Lo siento friends, for the blogging lapse; after our WA trip, I was WIPED OUT. It's taken me a while to get back on the horse... A lot of noteworthy things have transpired and we've taken some photos to share, so hopefully I'll get to that soon! Maybe even today... But in the meantime, I thought you may want to know that little Claire Evans is officially huge. Now people I don't know make comments to me about being preggo. Finally! I only have 56 days to go. (I tell her feel free to come early, though...) She is unfortunately a night owl like her mom, and is up and at 'em from 11pm-1am and again 4am-6am, which makes sleeping for me somewhat problematic. At between 3-4 lbs. we can now see her moving all over the place under my skin (which kind of makes me want to puke, but it's cool). We've started keeping a journal to give to her (either when she gets married, or preggo, or graduates from something, we don't know); and that has been fun to write in. We tell her our hopes, prayers, fears, all kinds of stuff; and are having other family and important people write in it as well. Hopefully it won't get lost, and will be meaningful to her when we give it to her...
Other than that... let's see, my legs are starting to hurt a bit more these days. I have to stretch and walk daily, or else they feel weird. Luckily I still feel okay to walk a couple miles a day, though it's getting hotter outside (80s every day), so that's a new factor, as Burly and I pant our way through the golf course:) And the worst thing is I've started to get STRETCH MARKS on my tummy. Not very excited about that!
On other fronts, her nursery still has yet to come together, but she is starting to have a little wardrobe, since people have been very generous toward her. Our goal this month is to get the furniture and bedding and glider all situated. So many decisions to make, I get really overwhelmed. My current quandary is an issue we're revisiting, the car seat and stroller issue. In Seattle, because of the REI 20% off sale, we bought a BOB jogging stroller and are stoked about that. But in regards to a light "mall" stroller, we'll have to figure that out; current candidates are the Bugaboo, the Maclaren, the Peg Perego... who knows. And unless we get an SUV, no car seat sounds super ideal. And last I checked, we weren't getting an SUV. So we'll figure this all out, I'm sure, but these are the things that weigh on my mind, oh yeah, besides the fact that we have no idea what we're getting ourselves into with this whole parenting gig.:) We're reading a lot of books right now, on labor/delivery and infants: eating, sleeping, crying, activity, vaccines, etc. all the good stuff. I know a lot of parenthood will be trial and error (humbling to think!), but at least this feels educational, stuff we've never thought about before!
We'll report back soon:)

The Glorious Golden State

2009-03-24T08:22:00.000-07:00

The rest of the past week confirmed in our hearts just a little bit more how much we want to live in CA some day. The green rolling hills with wildflowers galore, the outdoor living that is year-round, the peacefulness of the ocean, Eucalyptus and Redwood groves and countryside juxtaposed with the stimulation of the cities- it was a great week. We can't wait to go back in December, and see Yosemite in the winter again, this time with our babe (who will have to borrow snow gear, we're not buying it in hot TX!) My mom came over on my birthday and we spent hours at the nation's best aquarium at Monterey Bay. If you don't have the funds to fly to the Caribbean or the Great Barrier Reef in Australia; seriously, this is a great alternative. It reminded me of fieldtrips I took there in grade school, petting the Rays, starfish, and so forth. Such a neat, interactive place for kids to be engaged. We'll definitely bring Claire there some day.

Tuesday I rented a bike (only $8/24 hours- military hookup!) and rode along the waters' edge with countless other runners/walkers/cyclists. There are a lot of hard-core athletes in the area (makes sense, it is gorgeous), but at 30 weeks preggo, trust me, I was content just beach-cruising my way down the trail:) I also bought Claire a journal, that we have started writing in, and will give to her at some point. (high school graduation? marriage? who knows) Wednesday I walked on Carmel's beach again and went shopping- though let's be honest, there's no way we are crazy enough, nor could we afford a $137 sweater for a newborn, that she would wear once, then grow out of. Carmel babies are in a league above us, that's for sure! But it was fun to look. Thursday I got to see my brother for the first time in 2 years, that was cool. His flight home from Australia aligned perfectly with our week in CA, fortuitous, since he's about to head to Germany for their season. He has not really lived in America for a while now, so it was fun to see him. I hope he will be able to be in Claire's life some day. Friday we said goodbye to the central coast and headed up to the Flory's house in the Bay Area, to meet their new babe, Ingrid, 10 weeks. She's amazing. We hope she and Claire can be besties some day!! Our time there was much too short, as we zoomed off to the San Francisco airport Saturday morn. We tried to get bumped again, to stay another day, but no such luck. Bay Area, we will be back!! Just you wait!!

After 3 nights in our own bed, lots of snuggling with Puggy, and a couple loads of laundry, not even unpacking entirely, we are now in the CC airport, ready to board our next flight to Seattle. Last trip we take before little c is born. Pray that my legs don't swell like they did on Saturday! That was creepy, never happened before! I will post photos soon, but wheels up in 20 minutes!

SuperNanny and other Resources- HELP US, PARENTS!

2009-03-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

We have no idea how to be good parents. Like zero. We think we will be good parents, but really, we have no experience in this realm. Foreign territory. Babysitting here and there, nannying in college for good, disciplined, older kids is NOT the same as the journey we are about to embark on in 2 months with baby Claire. This has never really alarmed me until the past 3 hours when we both wanted to strangle the little maniac sitting (un)fortunately RIGHT BEHIND us on the plane to TX. I'm not just talking about kicks in the back, here, folks. From the moment we got on the plane, when he was screaming ad nauseum, "I WANT a TOY, GIVE ME that car, I WANT a DRINK, I WANT a SNACK!!!!!!!!"" everyone within earshot of him said, "You know what we want? We want duct tape..." THEN he ran down the aisle away from his mom. Great. And to bribe him back to the seat, he was given candy and juice. SUGAR!!!!! JUST what he needed to calm right down. UNbelievable. And his mom said to me, "I wonder why he hasn't taken his nap yet?" You wonder?! He is so spooled up, even with earplugs his piercing voice has been plaguing me the past 3 hours. He has been tearing pages out of books, hitting his mom, you name it, little Everett has tried it, totally dominating his mom. Los is biting his fingernails in stress and I am freaking out, because we only imagine Claire as angelic. What if her tendency is to be demonic as well? What do we do? How do you discipline and give good boundaries? Neither of us had a model that would be helpful to us now growing up (his was more strict than we'd like, mine was more lenient than we'd like) so we need some advice. That's where you come in.
We just left our great friends, the Flory's, who are already 2.5 months into being awesome parents. They showed us some cool books they have used as resources, and I thought I would ask you all in blog-dom as well; what are tools you've used and read to become great parents of great infants and toddlers. Do tell, oh wise ones. We are all ears!

Hello, my name is Casey, and I am addicted to California.

2009-03-16T08:11:00.000-07:00

I fell in love with my homestate all over again our first day back. "There's NO place like home!" I feel like a regular Dorothy, exclaiming this from practically the moment we stepped off the plane until the moment I went to bed last night. I realize that I could lose most all of my friends/readers by throwing out the superlatives I want to right now, so please filter this email through your sensibilities and see it in light of what it is, someone who feels like they've been walking through the desert for a season, and has finally found oasis. TX is our desert. It is dry, flat and unstimulating to us; and while some (MANY) people love it so much, they wish it could secede from the union and become its own country again, for us, it is a season to endure (a la the Israelites) to get to the Promiseland, which in our mind, would be here. Trust me, I know my ego is so big about my homestate that it's amazing I can fit my huge head through a doorframe. So if this blog is annoying, I apologize. I usually try to be very globally-minded, and roll my eyes at people who are super nationalistic, wearing red, white and blue everything, and praising America to the high heavens, thinking its the best country ever. So I understand that that is exactly how I am about to sound. I'm sorry. But just as everyone wants to feel some sense of "HOME", and knows what it's like to "come home" after being away, the comfort, the peace, the joy, the familiarity, etc. that comes with a sense of "home," that is how our souls feel today. We may have 2 plus years left in our desert, but we are getting a taste of the promiseland, to remind us what there is to hope for on the other side of the desert.

And as an aside, the desert isn't so bad of a place to be, don't get me wrong! I love TX, it's great. The people we've built community with, the slow pace of life, the ability to have careers we like and start our family, as well as live in a gorgeous home in a neighborhood we enjoy, trust me, these are all things we are grateful for. When the Israelites were in the desert for 40 years, they had deep friendships, got married, had children, and I'm sure they had fond memories of that season, in ways, once it was over. We will have the same, life is good there. It just isn't home.

And when we stepped off the plane in San Francisco, we started to remember what home feels like, and that elation has felt like a drug that has kept me high for the past 24 hours. No kidding, I walked off that plane smiling like an idiot, and I haven't been able to wipe that smile off my face ever since then. Los said I should be the governator of CA (Lord knows we need a new one!) because he thinks no one loves CA as much as I do. I don't know about that:) but if you ever need a tour guide, I'm your woman. When we were landing, our breath was taken away by the beauty of the Bay Area, the mountains, water and cityscape. Walking off the plane, the architecture and art and diversity in the airport made us realize what we've longed for and been missing in TX. And this is all before we stepped outside and breathed the air! I tell you, I really feel like I was on drugs, having a high all day. Our first stop was by Stanford, in Palo Alto, for Los to get some caffeine at Peet's, his fave coffee shop. I stood outside stretching, and trying hard not to have my jaw drop as I stared (trying to be discreet, but probably non-successfully) at everyone in joy. I just loved everybody! I miss cafes where people are outdoors: cyclists, cute families, the random elderly person that you know has a great life story, the quirky woman holding two dogs... Oh man, I would not have stopped ogling if we didn't have an agenda.

Next we drove down to Carmel, which if you have not been there before, PLEASE put it on your life's to-do list. It is impossibly charming here. An unbelievable area. And the drive to get here alone, is phenomenal. You leave the Bay Area, passing all of the "tech" headquarters, and Google, Facebook, Twitter, eBay, whomever... and then drop down into the fertile land that provides our nation's produce. In our short drive, we passed by fields of artichokes, strawberries, and orchards of various kinds. We passed by acres and acres of vineyards and numerous wineries with tasting rooms. Then we went through the Redwoods, which separate the coast from the fertile valleys; they are sky-scraping tall and marvelous in their own right.
In less than 2 hours from the airport, we were down in beautiful Monterey country, where we luckily get to spend the next week. The night before our flight I laughed inside when our restaurant hostess asked if we enjoyed our meals. I said, "it was okay." And it was, it was fine, it got the job done. But to ENJOY my meal takes way more than Applebee's. Yesterday we ENJOYED what we ate.

We parked on one of Carmel's idyllic European-village feeling streets, and met my parents at Casanova's, one of my new favorite restaurants. I had a goat cheese sandwich that was so good, describing it would almost be an injustice to the art it was, like trying to describe the most moving song you've ever heard... Okay, I'm exaggerating, maybe just a little:) But it was better than anything I've eaten in TX in 5 months, that' s for sure. And Los had what my dad called the best crab salad he's ever tasted in his life (and he's old, he knows what he's talking about! j/k dad!)

After lunch, we went on a long walk on Carmel beach, which is such a fun place if you have or like dogs. Dogs of all shapes and sizes are allowed to be off-leash, and they run and play in the water- it's comical to watch. My parent's Golden, Jake, had a ball there. I am not complaining about the Gulf, I would rather be by water than not, and it's warm, which is novel; but man was it good to see the Pacific again! Later in the afternoon, we showed Los 17-Mile Drive, another "must" in the local area. Pebble Beach is ridiculous, ostentatious, but gorgeous nonetheless. We took some photos on the 4th green (I don't think we were trespassing, other people were there walking) of what I think may be the most expensive golf course in America. I heard it's $500/person/round. I can't even imagine that. That's more than my flight from TX and rental car cost! We heard the bagpiper in his kilt, serenading the sunset, then went to see my friends, the seals, who hang out all year, living the good life in PB, laying on the beach and frolicking in the water. Way fewer were here in March than when I last came, in July, but it was fun to watch them. I love the marine life in this area.

Our perfect day was capped by a birthday dinner for me at one of Clint Eastwood's places, Mission Ranch. The hotel and restaurant are in a beautiful area, and the piano bar full of competing "cougars" kept us entertained while we waited for our delectable meals. Cindy and I had local Sea Bass with a fresh mango chutney and spinach. Los had hand-rolled pasta and prawns in a garlic wine sauce. And my dad had their prime rib, all amazing. Again, food I ENJOYED eating. Then to my surprise, led by the pianist/singer, all 50+ people in the restaurant sang Happy Birthday to me, as I was given some to-die-for chocolate mousse pie. The four of us shared it before retiring for the eve with smiles on our faces and warmth in our hearts/bellies. I never saw Clint that night, but that's okay. Maybe next birthday?

Today promises to be another glorious day, we are going to explore Point Lobos state park, and do some window-shopping in Carmel's cute boutiques before saying goodbye to my parents. Tomorrow is my actual 30th bday (though we are stretching out the celebrations all month!) and Los begins grad school bright and early. Who knows how I will spend all week exploring, but you are sure to hear about it. First order of business, however, is going back to sleep. It is early and dark and I need the rest, I just couldn't sleep one more minute until I professed my undying love for California, which, while not my current home, remains the home in my heart. I want to soak it in so much that to sleep seems like it would rob me of that ability, yet back to bed I go.

Baby Claire's Bedding and Nursery and Diaper Dilemma

2009-03-10T14:09:00.000-07:00

Given that we leave for Cali on Friday and then head to Seattle until March 31st, we won't really be in TX again until I am 31 weeks preggo. In my zeal, this past month I thought maybe I could learn to sew and design all of Claire's nursery to be 100% unique. Nothing but the best for our first born! But let's be realistic... THAT'S NOT going to happen. I would like to learn how to sew at some point, for sure, but maybe NOT right before giving birth... So I had to say goodbye to the warm pink/salmon and green and cream paisley that I fell in love with at JoAnn's fabrics. Another time. Luckily, we found online from my friend Heidi, this great alternative paisley print. I don't want the Pepto Bismol Pink walls or matchy matchy anything in her room, but I at least like this bedding. Los painted a little dresser green for Claire, to put next to a glider, and now we're trying to figure out what kind of crib we want. So hopefully in April her nursery will come together. Just in case she comes early in May:) Diaper options are currently what stress us out most, but other than that things are looking like they'll fall into place nicely before she comes. Would love to hear all your wise counsel on diapers, the more specific the better. Fun fun!

On Marriage: Here I am, Send me! Or not. Maybe later...

2009-03-08T16:01:00.000-07:00

Some times I wonder what was the deal with Isaiah 6, this great "sending" text we use in the Church. When Isaiah said, "God, here am I, send me!" was that the position of his heart no matter what? Once Isaiah heard what his mission in life was going to be, was he still on board? Or did he want to rescind his offer to be sent by God into a hurting world?
Some times I wonder about the same thing in my own life. Certain days I am like, "Yes God, USE ME!!" and yet there are times when I find out specifically how God might use me, I say, "nah, I changed my mind; get back to me with another, more lucrative offer..." Or even worse, "God, I meant can you use me on my own terms?" Anyway, gotta love our human frailty and self-focus:) Maybe this is why Isaiah made it into the Bible and I didn't:)

I have noticed recently that a lot of marriages aren't as healthy as they could be. Maybe this has always been the case, and I just have ears to hear about it now? I mean, there's the obvious and tragic statistics nationally, that so many marriages end, for one reason or another. But that seems nebulous, whereas the people I know who's hearts ache for something better, deeper, etc. seem to be increasing. Lots of wives have been sharing that they don't feel heard, safe or supported by their husbands. I'm sure if I was a dude, guys would be echoing that same sentiment to me. A lot of people seem unsatisfied with their marriages. Marriages aren't as urgent to maintain, like getting the bills paid, and the kids to school on time, so some people take them for granted and don't work on them. Military (or other job-required) separations exacerbate the problem as well. I am as guilty of this as the next person.

The past 6 weeks, we joined some neighbors in a marriage enrichment group that met short-term on Sunday nights. The sessions were heated and draining at times, as people shared their pain, anger and tears. Other than ourselves and the leaders, who've been married over 40 years, no one seemed to have very good habits in place for working through conflicts. For example, it was alarming to hear a guy say that he always "fights to win" and didn't seem to mind that that makes his wife of 18 years constantly withdraw. Or a wife of over a decade, say to her husband that she feels like she knows facts about him, but doesn't really feel like she KNOWS him. Pain. My heart grieved for these couples and so many others that have recently confided in us about their struggles.

So I asked the leaders where to refer couples that live locally and could really use some tools like those this group equip you with. I was hoping for a book, or an email address to recommend to people. To our surprise, the leaders then said they think Los and I should lead a group like this for 7 or 8 couples. Immediately, other couples affirmed that, and one even said they'd love to join our group. I was taken aback, mouth open, as I had not been interested in leading a group at all. I just wanted a quick fix to offer people, not the chance to really enter into their suffering and model/guide them toward health. Hence my questions about Isaiah, I've been praying, "Lord, do something for all these hurting marriages!" Not expecting or desiring at all that we might be part of the solution we're praying for...

So that brings us to today, as we're now considering leading one of these groups. I have no idea what it would look like, and if the 3rd trimester of pregnancy is the right timing for it, but it seems to be something growing in our hearts, marriage ministry. We are blessed to be a blessing, and if we could facilitate a space for other people's growth and freedom, that would be very cool, albeit a surprising new venture for us. Who knows where it could lead? So I'd love to hear from you married people out there!! What are the tools in your marriage that have made it work well for you?! What nuggets of wisdom do you have to pass on to others? How do you address areas in which you struggle? Any and everything you have to offer us would be awesome, either on this blog or in a private email. Thanks a lot friends, may we all grow in grace as we grow in age.

poem and prayer

2009-03-01T12:45:00.000-08:00

it is a new day.
it is a brand new day.
life has changed.
life will never be the way it was.
for you do not delight in my sacrifices that produce
perfection,
power,
wealth,
popularity,
safety,
legalism.
woe to these bandaids.
in this lenten season,
and once, for all,
know
i am forgiven
and being made whole.

-los

Poop, Placentas and Pulled Pork, awesomeness...

2009-02-26T09:25:00.000-08:00

If being the parent of a dog is anything like being the parent of a little person, I might need to rethink this whole parenting gig we have coming up the next two decades, because apparently we aren't ready to handle it. I hate bodily fluids. Last night, at our friends' house, we were more engrossed with watching LOST (I hate Ben!!!) and conversation, than paying attention to what Burly was doing. After wearing out their two big dogs, our little porker snuck over and gobbled down who knows how much of their dogs' food. At one or two points I said, "hey, I think Burly's eating?" But neither of us did anything about it... He was a little maniac on the walk home (Gabe and Meredith live at the end of our street) and we thought Burly would be fine all night, since he pooped and peed on the walk. Not so. When Los woke up this morning, Burly had pooped in our bathroom. We scolded him, and he looked repentant, so we thought it was over. I laid in bed feeling guilty that we had punished him when really it was our fault that we hadn't taken away the opportunity for him to eat last night. We talked about it, and I went back to bed. Not before joking, though, that if he ever pooped in our closet, I would sell him to the gypsies.

Two hours later, Burly gave me my chance. When I woke up again, he had decided that pooping on our Italian tile and white bath mat just wasn't enough. So he pooped on Los' side of the closet carpet as well. What a guy! I was furious. 3 times in one night! AFTER going outside twice?! Who does that? Not our angelic practically-perfect-in-every-way dog. I contemplated feeding him to the local coyotes or my previous threat of selling him to the gypsies for at least 5 minutes before deciding to forgive him and making up. When I took him outside this morning he promptly went again, so I guess he'd been showing restraint inside?? I don't know how such a little dog can poop so many times in 12 hours, but... what can I say, he's a pro.

On a completely other note, yesterday our birth coach came over and showed us two videos of natural childbirths. WAY graphic compared to any romantic notion we'd previously held. What ever happened to the stork- I just want a clean bundle of joy delivered to me?! Looking at cute baby girl clothes and picking out nursery furniture is stuff I can do. Stuff I like doing. But watching women sans medicine in painful labor for hours- rough. I don't know if I have what it takes for that! As much as we would prefer to go without meds, we felt queasy watching the pain that these strange women (whom we now have seen every (awkward!) body part of) were in as they went through labor. We both teared up watching the actual birth, that was just amazing. But lest we get too sentimental, then came the most disgusting thing ever, the "birth of the placenta." Cue gagging sounds, that was nasty... And our birth coach said, "yeah, in some cultures people EAT the placenta or at least bury it." We looked at each other in horror and silently agreed that when that day comes, the doctor can just go ahead and pitch ours in the trash asap! No thanks.

Which brings me to this morning and pulled pork. With my recent acquisition of a Southern Living magazine subscription, I have become more and more of a southern chef by the month. Today I was man-handling 7 lbs. of pork to put in the slow cooker when gross pig blood got all over my white (of course) tank top. This finalized my whole-hearted disgust in blood and every other bodily fluid. I have had enough of them for one 24 hour period, thank you very much. Just for the record, I hereby renounce any further career ambitions to be a surgeon or butcher:) I am preaching the first sermon of Lent this Sunday, and last Sunday I preached on Hebrews 7 and how Christ is the once for all priest and sacrifice. I have never been more grateful to live in a time period without animal sacrifice and the blood, guts and smell therein than in the past 24 hours:) Yet one more reason to be thankful for the Cross. On that note, happy Lent everyone.

LIFE- tragic, abundant, wrenching, beautiful.

2009-02-19T10:54:00.000-08:00

Life is so fickle. This past week in my mailbox, I received on the same day both a wedding announcement/save the date card, and a merchandise credit to Williams-Sonoma. One couple of friends got married in Switzerland, and are coming stateside to have a celebration in Santa Barbara this summer. I couldn't be happier for them. Another couple dissolved their new marriage and returned all of our gifts in the mail. I couldn't be sadder for them. The irony of that juxtaposition in my mailbox struck a chord with me. I am reminded of Ecclesiastes 3. Its scope is beyond me.

When we first moved to TX, we decided not to go to the west coast for the holidays. We wanted to save money, which was a good thing, since in March we'll be going to both California and Seattle for a week each. Some old friends in Houston invited us to spend Thanksgiving with them and we were very excited to do so. We had the most lovely day, and shared it with one of the coolest families I have ever met. Their name is the Alford's and their huge southern mansion in Houston's artsy district could not have been more beautiful. It's beauty was far eclipsed, however, by the love in that 5 person family. They had been through a hard year, as the father, Gene, had been paralyzed from the waist down in an accident on their farm (a tree pinned him down on his tractor). Gene is a prominent surgeon, and navigating the life changes after that tragedy was, and continues to be, challenging. But the love and support and joy we experienced in their family in November was palpable, the tragedy just made them stronger as a family.

I am sad to say that this past week, tragedy struck them again. I have no idea why tragedy strikes, but our hearts are groaning with and burdened for the Alford's and we would love if you would pray for them. The youngest son Charles had just turned 16, and was so excited to be given a car from his grandparents. He was driving back from west TX, when he was struck and killed in an accident. His mom was in the car with him and also injured. She is now temporarily joining her husband in a wheelchair. Her grief and strength are unimaginable to me. You can see Charles' sweet face and read his obituary here. Please pray for Gene, Mary, John and Bess and their extended family. Charles had a keychain with the verse Is. 41:10, a verse other friends of mine have chosen to uphold in the face of death as well, as it says a promise from God, "Fear not, for I am with you." May we all cling to that truth amidst the tumult of life here on earth.

Life is short, tragic, beautiful, fulfilling and wrenching, if we fully live. I suppose we could numb ourselves throughout it, a la Zach Braff in Garden State, one of our most favorite movies, but I would rather feel deeply, all of the heights and all of the depths combined. I don't know what strange and hard things you may be getting in your mailbox, facing in your family or facing in this questionable economy, but I am going to join the chorus of those trusting that amidst it all we need not fear, for God is with us.

FOOD

2009-02-19T10:32:00.001-08:00

This morning, I stumbled upon this disgusting website, if you never want to be hungry again, check this out. My arteries clogged just looking at it.

Sometimes I am really motivated about food. As we've learned more how to bolster our "leafy green" intake and get all our nutrients from whole foods, rather than pills, eat organically, locally and in season, etc. we've picked up some good tips and habits. Reading Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle was eye-opening to say the least, and as I gave it to my mom this weekend, we had lots of motivational conversations about food.

But other times I am discouraged about food, because along with all our newfound knowledge comes conviction when I am slacking on being a good steward of my own body, let alone the earth! It feels hypocritical to know the right thing to do (or eat, as it were) and then not do it. Very Romans 7-esque, if you know what I mean? Being the classy people that we are, after our great conversations about food and health, on Valentine's Day, we promptly ate at a) Costco and b) Taco Bell. Cast your stones now, people, I am ready. I wish I could just blame it on my pregnancy cravings and say that after June, we will be perfect eaters... But that's probably not true. Sigh. I'm trying to see eating as a continuum and if concession stand junk food were all the way on one side, and organic vegans were on the other (I don't know?) I would like to make peace with being somewhere in the middle, moving in a healthier direction. It'd be easier to be all about "moderation" and be less OCD. Alas, so far I just feel like a hypocrite:)

I know I'm not alone in this. Thoughts? Struggles? How do you interact with food and not let it become too prominent a focus? Tell me.

Baby Good News and maybe good or not-so-good news

2009-02-18T14:23:00.000-08:00

So my mom just left after a great week in TX. Thankfully the weather was cool enough for us to walk Burly on the beach a couple of days and to feel comfortable in general. She loved feeling Claire kick and "being a part of the pregnancy." We shopped for maternity clothes, which was such a blessing, and a lot of baby stuff. I even found a baby towel with a hood that had CLAIRE sewed onto it in pink. I heart the Pottery Barn outlet clearance section. Everything was 70% off the sale prices that were already marked down. We got her towel for only $3. And after weeks of feeling non-committal, I finally am inspired about Claire's nursery. It started out with a pillow sham that was also in the clearance section. We can put that on the chair that will be in her room. We then went to JoAnn's fabric store with the sham and I got 14 swatches of pinks, greens, paisleys, taupes and creams. I sketched out what her room will look like, and now we just have to find someone to help us sew, (or maybe I will learn?) and to paint a dresser that we want to keep in her room for some funky color. Los' mom is going to make her an adorable lamp shade from coordinating ribbon as well. Even though I am only 25 weeks, I am starting to have more of a vision of what the room will look like when she joins our family and we spend time in there. FUN!

The other news I got yesterday, was that I am "measuring" 4 weeks ahead of schedule. I wish this meant I was going to deliver that early, but most likely, the OB said, we're just having a BIG baby. Great... I was only 6lbs, 13oz. though I was 21" long. I was hoping to be carrying a similar little person, but apparently that's not in the cards? Have any of you moms gotten that news from your OB? How did it pan out for you?! Do tell, please! I would love to hear!

Stomach Suspenders and Baby Paraphernalia

2009-02-11T13:33:00.000-08:00

For all those ladies that have been prego before, please tell me your advice. I'm in week 24, and really have NOTHING to complain about, since I've gained only maybe 7 lbs. thus far, 1 of it being another person (grow, Claire, grow!). I'll chalk that up to 'awesome' morning sickness, and all the eating at home we've been doing (amazing what unprocessed foods will do for you? I guess God's design of food is better than our diabetes and obesity-inducing creations, after all! Who knew?!)

Still, though, when I go on walks with little b, sometimes I wish there was such an invention as stomach suspenders, because my tummy just feels so... awkward. Like I need some construction worker guy's industrial-sized belt:) One friend suggested pre-natal yoga could help improve my posture. Any recommendations on dvd's? The only class pre-natal class here is a far drive away (okay, really only like 25 minutes, but I'm that lazy- I know I used to drive an hour to Seattle on a whim, but times have changed). I've also read things online about "belly bands," but do they really work?

I'm open to any and all feedback. Since I'm joining you in the "sorority of motherhood," please indoctrinate me! And while you're at it, I'd LOVE to hear any baby "products" that you can't live without/LOVE to pieces. We started to register, but it was SO overwhelming- baby paraphernalia is SUCH a market these days, we were a little stressed out by it, just like wedding registry when we spent 4 consecutive hours at Williams-Sonoma, fretting over which dishes to choose, and the All-Clad pots and pans we don't even have today... Good times. I've been eyeing Craigslist faithfully, knowing we can score some stuff that way, but what would you suggest we buy or register for? Spill the beans, as it were.

The Pursuit of Happy-ness

2009-02-05T21:03:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm spelling it incorrectly, b/c I want to be like Will Smith. Who doesn't, really? Anyway, I was driving down the street today with a friend who asked how I was doing. We've left WA 4 months ago, now, which had essentially been "home" for the past decade of my life... And I shared with my new friend that this week, for the first time since we've been Texans, I really felt HAPPY. Like deep inside your bones happy. I was surprised by that feeling! When we moved here things were rough for me. I was lonely. I thought I was just depressed. Turns out I was having morning sickness unbeknownst to me:) Eventually that passed (I think the last time I puked was at 17 weeks?)

I prayed for #1: friends and new moms to get to know, since this whole parenthood thing is such a mystery to me. Then I prayed for #2: stuff to do, other than sit at home and blog:)

And now I sit here, looking at my February calendar which has lots of things written on it, and I am grateful for how God has answered those prayers... This past fall, for the first time in my academic life, I lived without a DayPlanner. For as long as I can remember, I've been on a "school year" calendar (August to August) rather than a normal January to December calendar. Since I finished grad. school in September, I tried to live without a DayPlanner until I could join the rest of the non-academic world on January 1, with a new calendar. It was a big step:) But to be honest, I had hardly any friends, not to mention plans, this fall. So I wouldn't have had much to write down, if I'd had a calendar:)

Ceremoniously, during the first week of January I walked into Barnes and Noble and bought a 1/2-off 2009 calendar. I "put myself out there" and met one of my neighbors, who's also a Navy wife in our squadron. Turns out she's pregnant also AND from California- could that be more awesome?! Thanks Lord. Step one, check. Step two, meet some other gals. I went to a "Bunko" night (this stupid dice game that takes no skill, or at least that's what I assume, but I'm terrible at it- so maybe it is hard?). I knew noone except my neighbor at the beginning, but eventually I found two girls I liked and connected with. In turn, they invited me to a dinner party a couple weekends ago. I was nervous going to that alone, but lo and behold, I met MORE girls I liked and connected with at that- some of whom are new moms! And just like that, now it's February, and I have a handful of gals I could go walking with, or to yoga, or a movie, or have a game night/dinner party with. And people to talk about the craziness of pregnancy. I am not alone- it is good for the human heart to know it is not alone. God is good. That prayer was answered, and my calendar looks encouraging, even if I'm living in South Texas.

Prayer two was for some stuff to do. Having no idea what motherhood will be like, I've been hesitant to commit to a full or part-time job. I had pursued one as a chaplain at a local hospital, but the economic downturn took that job away in November. Then I pursued one at a local church, but it never felt "right" to us. So I dropped that, but I wanted to exercise my gifting and skill set, so I asked God to hook me up. And in January, after our ski vacation to CO, my prayer was answered. A local church has asked me to preach there once a month for a few hundred dollars a time. I am thrilled. It is so fun, because Los and I get to lead the service together, something that is encouraging (and unexpected) to us both.

And THEN, last week, even more random and cool, Los' "head boss" called him up. Los was nervous b/c he thought this shouldn't happen unless he was in trouble:) But his commanding officer was wanting to know if I'd be interested in being the liaison between him and the command and all of the families in the squadron (student spouses and pilots' families). It is kind of a big deal, and at first I was shocked- since I was not involved in the slightest at our last duty station! But as I learned about the position, I got really excited- I get to love on people who are hurting or need help, and be a resource/encouragement to them... kind of like a chaplain to the squadron:) I have no idea how this will shape up, but after years of college ministry, loving young women is something I'm pretty professional at- so I look forward to getting to know some people here in that capacity.

So things are looking up. And I am happy. Life is simple here. Slow. VERY different than what I was used to in grad school. But we feel healthy. We have LOTS of uninterrupted time together. And are making memories together and with new friends. AND the pregnancy is over half-way done. We will meet our little girl in 4 months:) Life is good, and I am grateful.

25 Random Things About Casey

2009-02-05T20:53:00.000-08:00

For those of you who aren't on Facebook, there is this silly phenomenon sweeping the interweb. According to today's NY Times, over 5 million people have done this silly "chain" email in the past 2 weeks. I have enjoyed reading countless friend's and family's entries. And for those of you have yet to see them, here are my little quirks... or at least the first 25 I thought of.

1) When Los proposed to me in France, I started laughing/crying hysterically and fell on the floor beside him. It took me a couple minutes to catch my breath and answer him. Not quite the “movie moment” I was hoping for.

2) When everyone got braces I was jealous, even though I didn’t need them. I talked my mom into letting me get them for 5 months. Now I wear a retainer for the rest of my life. Great.

3) I have studied 7 languages to some extent. I am fluent in 1, yes, English.

4) My husband is the only person I’ve ever French-kissed. And the only guy worth my heart. He’s amazing. I’m ridiculously blessed by him.

5) I hate running if there’s no soccer ball in front of me. Yet I want to run a ½ marathon.

6) Most people crave sweet or salty things. Not me, but I love sour, vinegar-y things, weird.

7) I travel like a maniac. Yet I still get nervous on flights. And I’m married to a pilot, what?

8) Los and I were the original Brangelina- we have always wanted to adopt from around the world.

9) Contrarily, I never wanted to get prego- I thought I had a broken “biological clock.” At week 21, I finally got excited that I’m growing a little person inside me.

10) On the scale of passive-aggressive, I weigh heavily on the aggressive side. I probably wouldn’t harm someone in real life, but I think about it in my mind, and like to throw out phrases like, “I’d punch them in the throat.” Creepy. Yes, this probably stems from my childhood.

11) I am super independent, yet love my husband’s chivalry.

12) I am a liberal conservative, or conservative liberal, I don’t fit inside the political boxes in this country.

13) I would rather my husband do the inside chores and I’d rather do the outside chores. Cooking and cleaning aren’t as fun as taking out the garbage and working in the yard.

14) I am obsessed with all things citrus. I ate 42 Satsumas in one sitting. It was a competition and I lost, but I got a crazy Vitamin C high.

15) I have a hard time being friends with people who don’t like cilantro or avocados, maybe it’s b/c I’m from CA, but I think it should be a law that people love those two things.

16) We haven’t had a tv since we’ve been married (3.5 years) but I love tv on dvd or online- currently I can’t watch Extreme Home Makeover without bawling my head off.

17) I think I could be a pretty decent long-haul truck driver (minus the greasy food and porn they watch). I drove across the country in 3 days by myself, San Diego to Jacksonville.
Or a Nascar driver- not gonna lie, I went 120 in my Acura on I-5 one night, jff. Bad girl.

18) I have very selective OCD in our home: in organizing my closet and the dishwasher- if someone else loads it, I will rearrange it. Sorry.

19) I am all about snobby, healthy food, fresh, local, organic, free-range, whatever… Yet I love corn dogs and mac’n’cheese, go figure.

20) When asked the question, would you rather have a home at the beach or in the mountains, I get really stressed out. I don’t know. BOTH.

21) I am obsessed with my dog. I carry him like a baby. When people don’t like him, refer to #10

22) I have spent close to $200,000 on my education- I have a very expensive brain. And I have no job.

23) I have been to 45 states and 20 countries, and I can’t wait to go to 40+ more countries; we love to travel.

24) I suck at talking on the phone, and am probably bad at communicating this, but I am passionate about my friends and would die for them.

25) I didn’t know I had curly hair until college?! I am frugal in many areas, but hair is not one of them, bring on the Bumble and Bumble and stylist.

It's a... girl??? Help us think of a middle name.

2009-01-20T08:18:00.000-08:00

After all the anticipation building up to the climax of yesterday's sonogram, the experience was anti-climactic to say the least! Apparently our little person was hanging out in the womb a little backwards or upside down, or the opposite of however the tech needed her to be to see her private parts. She's modest already, I'll take it!

She checked her brain, heart, kidneys and all her perfect little organs for a LONG time before saying, "I don't see anything dangling, I'm pretty sure it's a girl." What do you mean PRETTY SURE?! She said, "well if it was me I'd go out and buy pink. Just save your receipts." Um, okay... The OB confirmed that opinion, but said you can never be 100% sure until the baby comes out; which I didn't know. Our OB said that while she was in Med. School at Georgetown, the head of the dept. did her sonogram and told her that she was having a girl, when in fact it was a boy. So if he could make a mistake, anyone can... And apparently parents (who've spent $20G+ on decorating nurseries) have SUED hospitals before for wrongful determination... intense. So that's why they can't always give you a 100% positive answer.

But she said from our photos it was close to positive that we're having a girl, and they wrote girl in our chart, so that's what we're going with, unless surprised in June! We both really wanted a girl, so we're excited. Some of my reasons were vain (e.g. girls have cuter clothes) but others (girls can stay closer to their parents when they get married) had more validity. We know she'll be super strong-willed, tall and athletic, a natural leader; and we can't wait to meet the person that will change our lives forever. Or as Los' best friend said, "your heart is about to be ripped out." Just 4 more months! Now that we saw her for 1/2 an hour yesterday, it is starting to become more real to me, and for the first time in this pregnancy, I am beginning to get excited. I can't tell from looking in a mirror, but she's 10 inches long and looks like a real person! They sent us home with a DVD of her moving around inside me. Crazy.

We both love the name Claire, so that's what we'll name her, with the obvious nickname Clairebear already rolling off our tongues quite naturally. Wanting her to be multi-lingual out of the womb, we're already starting to talk to her in Spanish and other languages, so she can come out mastering them by elementary school:) Just kidding. Kind of.

Anyway, so there's our big news:) We're currently accepting all suggestions for middle names. We're not so sure what goes with Claire Evans:) Los wants her middle name to officially be Bear. But I'm not so keen on that, go figure:)

Driscoll in NY Times on Calvinism

2009-01-10T13:19:00.000-08:00

I was surprised to open up NY Times.com as I do daily, and see Mark Driscoll's face on the front page. Read this interesting article if you have time, I'd love to hear your thoughts about it. I was somewhat on board with the article (rare for me with him) until I read the piece about how he handled his church elders. One of the reasons I'm grateful to be a Presbyterian is the dissemination of power, so that the group of elected leaders makes decisions, not any authoritarian figures. Also I thought it was funny that me submitting to my husband MEANS preaching, as Los prayed that into existence (rather than abstaining from it- as the article says to.)

It was interesting to read the author's portrayal of Calvinism, not that I'm surprised by it, as it's in an international newspaper that isn't exactly known for it's theological accuracy; but it was amusing nonetheless. As a "New Year's Resolution"/theological growth opportunity, I've committed with thousands of others to reading through Calvin's Institutes in this year, 500 years after his birth. Along with Martin Luther and some other contemporaries, Calvin had a huge impact on protestant Christianity being established apart from Roman Catholicism this past millennia. For better or worse, he's a major player in our faith history worth getting to know. It should be doable in small chunks, as Princeton has divided it? Maybe I'll read it to our baby? Who knows where this journey will take me? But it will be nice to hear him speak for himself, rather than zealous or misled people who've come after him. It's funny how we can come to conclusions on people (authors) without ever even reading them for ourselves- I am guilty of that for sure.

As I stumble through my reading this year and ponder, I'll be posting up quotes from time to time on the blog, for your perusal as well. And if you have any interest in reading along with me, let me know! I have a couple friends around the country doing it so far, and I'm sure I'd benefit from processing it together.