Our impromptu "Baby-moon"

Who buys plane tickets for less than 24 hours from then and randomly goes skiing in CO?  Apparently we do.

Before baby E enters into our lives for good, Los and I wanted to take a last hurrah trip of sorts.  As excited as we'll be to have a family, we'll also miss our own spontaneous vacations.  So when he came home last Monday and said he had the next 6 days off, we got to thinking...  It is almost New Year's Eve, we have no plans...  it's hot, it's flat, and yet, it's December...  where would we like to go?  SNOW.

So on no notice, we cashed in some frequent flyer miles and up and flew to Denver.  About two hours before leaving for the airport, on some good intel from friends, we booked a ski-in/ski-out at Crested Butte , one of the most beautiful places we've ever skied.  Such great powder, and the most charming of towns beneath the expansive mountains...  Since we were so late in getting our flights, we even flew first-class (which makes me never want to fly coach again, dangit), and then got a Highlander (one of the cars we're thinking of buying); it seemed too good to be true.

Of course it wasn't all peaches and cream- getting there took twice as long as we thought it would, due to road conditions and over-turned cars.  I was the lucky recipient of a week-long cold, so I spent the week doing the Neti Pot (quite the experience, though I'm now a HUGE fan) and sucking down whatever meds were okay for preggo ladies.  I also puked once just for good measure.  If I didn't have the expectation that morning sickness would've taken a hike months ago, I wouldn't be as annoyed that I still puked in week 18.  Oh well.

Skiing as a pregnant lady presented it's own set of anxiety.  I hadn't gone last season, and now there's a person inside of me to protect...  with a congested head... at 11,000 feet altitude.  I was a little nervous until I saw the mountain doc who told me his wife skied all three of her pregnancies until 8 months!  Crazy.  At 41/2 months myself, with a body and joints that haven't changed yet, I felt fairly competent.  Also, we chose CB, as opposed to the Vail resorts, which had 20,000 skiers/boarders over the holiday, b/c it is more remote and challenging, scaring away the average Joe/Jane...  Only 3,000 people and mostly good skiers.  After getting the green light from the doc, Los and I had two awesome days on the mountain, covering as much terrain as possible, and only scaring myself on 2 or 3 runs.  I never fell (amen for that), and only had my breath taken away by a couple of steep pitches.  Skiing was so fun, the hardest part, TRULY, was walking to and from the ski valet with all my stuff on at the base of the mountain.  That and Los had to buckle my boots for me:)  What a guy.

The nights were fun too.  NYE, while everyone was out and partying, we got a pizza, and chilled in our suite, watching Alias on the laptop.  After our first ski day, we got luxurious massages, which were a treat.  Living the high-class dream, we had Top Ramen for dinner that night:)  Friday, my friend Katie (one of the pastors at FPC Colorado Springs) came over to join us for the day.  She and I graduated from Fuller together this summer, and she's very encouraging to be around.  After a snowy caravan together Saturday, we had a meal with her in the downtown of the Springs.  We went to her church Sunday, which was so great; and then had brunch with another couple I know and love, Lynsey and Joe, before heading back to Denver and "home" to TX.

Maybe some day TX will feel like home?  But for now, our hearts are filled up with the beauty of the snowy mountains that we took in this past week; the perfect picture of what winter should be like in my mind.  The fact that I got to wear my North Face and puffy, a wool sweater and scarves+ beanies galore for at least one week, will get me through the 70+ degree days that we've returned to.  Happy New Year indeed.

Serving up some Christmas Joy!!!

This is the best story ever. Ever. And it is so cool to have been a small part of it.

Towne Family

Sweet Little Ben

A week ago, Carin Towne wrote on their Caring Bridge blog about 3 year old Ben's desire to "serve (a tennis ball) just like Roger Federer." If you have not yet read their blog, do it right now. You will never forget it in your life.

So anyway, compelled by the desire to bring joy (albeit limited) to this family, I wrote Roger's mom and his US agent an email. I told them Ben's story and attached their blog. Why not, right?! Ben's body is ravished with cancer, and his days are limited. He has already suffered more than any human should have to, in his short life. Then my brilliant friend Shannon also cast her net wide and found a friend of a friend (of a friend, you know how that goes) who knew Tiger Woods, and another that had been on the tennis circuit as a pro years back and could call the head of Nike Tennis.

Long shot, right? NOPE!! Less than a week later, little Ben Towne got a couple surprises in the mail and on the phone today and yesterday... I can't tell you how happy that makes my heart. Read his mom's account to hear the story; it is so sweet in the midst of their pain which is anything but that. I am so grateful for all the strings that were pulled to reach Roger, James Blake and Andy Roddick within a week. Their willingness to reach out to Ben makes me even more of a tennis fan! I was partially disappointed, because I was literally praying that Roger would get on a plane in Switzerland, leave his vacation, to come to Seattle and visit Ben. Ben is MORE than worth it. And that hasn't happened (yet). But I'm still overjoyed in the joy that Ben felt being contacted by those 3 guys. Now I'm starting to pray for FREE 2009 US Open tickets for his parents. They want to go in honor of Ben. They have suffered the worst pain imaginable the past year, and are hanging in there by the grace of God. The most riveting sentence in their recent blog is his mom saying she wishes Ben's life could be saved by the love that has been shown to him this past year. So if you haven't been til this point, start praying: who's with me!!!!

Mariage and Divorce: Holding on to Hope

There was some song in the 90s that had the lyrics "Joy and Pain, Sunshine and Rain" (I think they included a "pump it up, pump it up!" if you recall). That's where I am this week. Two special friends just got engaged and are glowing, couldn't be happier to spend their lives together. They asked us to stand up in their wedding with them, we could not be more honored to do that, and we're thrilled to walk alongside them, and they us, for this season of life in S. Texas and whatever future seasons we may have near them.

There's some scripture about sharing in the joys of some and the sorrows of others. Simultaneously, as one couple of friends is joining, another couple of our friends are contemplating ending their marriage, and for them my heart is wrenched. I wish I could say that this is the first time I've known people my age to get divorced, but that's far from the truth, even in my 20s. I'm a product of divorce too, so I know the damage it causes kids intimately. It devastates me that over half of today's marriages end in divorce. I'm not saying that in every circumstance it should be avoided, but how flippantly people can treat something so destructive is the dangerous part.

For Christians, marriage is a covenant relationship, not just a contract that you enter into for a time, to get out when the going gets tough; yet that's how we often treat it. We promise "for better and worse." God's covenant faithfulness to us never ends, yet our commitment to each other is all too often thrown out the window in favor of self-preservation, a natural (but not always Biblical) instinct. The problem with the promise we make in our weddings is, that when we say the words for better or worse, we never imagine that WORSE will come. All we can imagine is the BETTER. Maybe we theoretically believe that worse could come, but the form of it always takes us by surprise. Maybe we are devastated. Maybe we are betrayed. Some mix of pain and anger consumes us, and trust is lost; even worse, hope is lost. And that is deadly.

Comparison is never helpful, but I know that Los and I haven't had as easy of a marriage as some, nor as hard of a marriage as others, so I can't imagine the pain some of my friends have felt or currently feel, as they wade through the muck and mire that was once their hope and dreams. I don't know how their situation will end. All I know is that I watched their mouths utter the words for better or worse, and that makes me feel responsible to lift them up in their pain and fight for their marriage, for reconciliation. For redemption, for resurrection from death to life. We don't have to rest on our own strength, God's word promises to make us new creations, if we'll let God transform us (through God's word, yeah, but also through counseling, and good community.) I believe that if their hearts would be soft and repentant, and if they could extend the grace (that God extends to us first!!) they have received to their partner, who badly needs it; then hope is not lost. It is right to feel betrayed and wronged when you have been, absolutely, you deserve something/someone better, absolutely. But that doesn't mean that can't be with the spouse you have promised forever to. Maybe I am wrong not to validate the desire for divorce in this circumstance, but unless their pride and self-preservation proves me otherwise, I'm going to hold on to this hope, that God will do a new thing in their lives, and rebuild what has been shattered. Please join me from afar, in prayer, for my friends in Seattle.

I've been listening to a song by my favorite artist, David Crowder, a lot. The lyrics are a lot of my prayer, that God is with us from the beginning til the end and can meet us in the midst our pain/wounds and repair what has been destroyed in our hearts. May we all be made new. Enjoy.

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Marriage and God's Timing: Remembering our Stories

Two of my favorite people got engaged yesterday, Dave (a Navy pilot that Los did ROTC with) and Kiesha (my friend from college). We introduced them to each other (score another one for the Yenta-esque matchmaker in me), after I had told Kiesh about Dave for years. Their story is as sweet and powerful and redemptive as can be. The proposal story is hers to tell, but was beautiful and perfect. It was a total surprise to Kiesha, and on a day where she could be surrounded by her best friend, family and lots of loved ones. Hearing their story on the phone, and relaying it to Los, I started crying, and cried on and off the next few hours, as I was in awe of the power of God's covenant faithfulness to them in knitting them together in his perfect timing. They're 29, and for a long time, she was concerned that it wasn't God's plan for her to get married, even though it was the desire of her heart. Kiesha is so loving, giving and joyful to everyone else in her life; and was one of my friends that I wondered, "what's the hold up God? She's awesome, can't you just hurry up and make it happen for her?" I have a few other friends like that too, where I confuse my idea of timing with God's, and forget to have patience and trust in God's better judgment. Do you ever do this? I know I'm not alone in this mistake.

Hearing the result of their patience and trust in God was a good reminder for me to revisit areas where I feel anxious or aggravated instead of God's peace that surpasses understanding. Listening to their story also reminded me to remember my own story. Too often, lots of married people get bogged down with the massive to-do lists and bills and hurts and bitterness and unknowns and chores (maybe you don't, but I do) and we forget the magic and romance of what God did when we courted and married our spouse. I know that love isn't only a feeling, it's a verb, a decision, etc. But it's also a feeling! And I never want to lose the memory of or appreciation for the romance side of love. The day Carlos proposed to me in France, as I've said, is the best day of my life. Hearing Dave and Kiesha's proposal story prompts me to recall our own story more, so I can treat Los the say he deserves to be treated (the BEST!), rather than like just the guy who I wish would take out the trash or clean the dishes:) I'm not saying I'm a bad wife, but who among us does not have room for improvement? So there's my invitation to you who read this, and could stand to put your spouse (or a friend/family member) before yourself this week.

Meet my new best friend Mac

Book, that is... It is exquisite, if I do say so myself.

We picked it up in San Antonio, before the half marathon, which Los ended up doing in my place. I still feel funky, and had a trusted friend advise against that much exertion. Los was amazing as always, without training, getting a 1:40:01! That's like a 7:30 split, he's unbelievable to me. The winner, Brian Sell, placed 3rd in Beijing's Olympics. I love watching people who are made to run doing what they naturally excel in. I cry every marathon I go to, because of the passion, drama and victory. Especially the parapalegic (sp?) athletes always move me, doing the whole race with just arms, or prosthetic legs, it's remarkable. I even saw a guy with a broken arm running (arm in sling). Intense.

We had a great time in San Antonio and were proud of our other 3 friends who completed the half. Now Los is trying to see if someone will sell him a bib for the Houston Marathon. We'll see... Meanwhile, I'm going to play with my new toy. Happy early Christmas to me:)

Wedding Vows

Last night we went to a very sweet wedding of Kendall and Andy. We planned our move to TX around this event, and they have been dating 6.5 years (the same amount of time I've known Los), so we have been anticipating this union for a long time. I love Kendall; she adds the spark of life and joy wherever she goes, a unique trait. She is a graphic designer, and the best taste ever, so everything was done stylishly.

But as we drove home, it was the vows that I was thinking a lot about. There is something so beautiful about traditional wedding vows.
"I _____, take you ______, to be my wedded wife/husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness."

We have no idea what we're promising when we say them, usually. The proverbial rubber has yet to meet the road. But when it does, those vows have power to shape how we respond to our spouses. I was thinking about this because the pastor who married them said something like, "Do you accept this person, with all that they are and all that they bring to you?" Of course the proper response is yes; but the cynic in me was sitting there thinking how often is that not true! Most people I know (myself included) wish their spouse was a little more this way, or did a little less of that, or would be perfect "if only..." and what we want to shape them into, is more of our own likeness. This thought was humbling, because the vows say I will embrace our differences, celebrate and encourage them... fostering growth for our partner's best, whatever that might look like; and HOWEVER different that may look than bending to my agenda or my desires. Can any of you relate, or is this just me?

So I was grateful for the call to remember my vows last night, and that is my prayer for you who are married as well. To stand in solidarity with Kendall and Andy as they continue the journey they've been on a long time, yet enter a new commitment to one another was really special. As we journey along our own paths, I hope we all might have that kind of community to walk with, so that our intention to uphold our vows can be supported and lived out, even and especially when the rubber meets the road.

My Iron Man- the Birthday Boy

I have the world's best husband. Today is his birthday, and we are once again the same age. This is my favorite half of the year, until I sneak ahead of him in March.

Yesterday Los completed his first triathlon, Escape from the Rock in Mercer Island. I have been to more marathons/races than I can count, but THIS was exhilarating. Los is one of those people that people like me like to hate, naturally gifted at almost everything physical. For example: the first 1/2 Marathon he ever ran, he trained maybe two weeks for... and he finished it in an hour and a half! Who does that?! Now he's training for his first marathon, and he's hoping to get a 3:10, to qualify for Boston Marathon. ON HIS FIRST TRY. Again, who does that? He does.

So yesterday, he was kind of nervous going in to his first Tri. No need to be, as he placed 77th of 700+ contestants. When we left over an hour after he finished, people were still finishing! Even with entering the water at the back of his swimming heat and having really slow transition times (the winner took less than 5 seconds to get off his bike and put on his shoes!!!), Los finished in 1:10! That's 16 miles in 70 minutes= amazing! He was running sub-7 minute miles and said he wasn't even trying hard, who says that?! He's gonna shoot to break an hour next time= crazy! And his eventual goal is to do the Kona Ironman (the "Superbowl" of Triathlons) in Hawai'i- which is a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike and 26.2 mile marathon! Just typing that exhausts me:) I just found out that a guy in the Navy invented the Ironman, as a competition for Navy Seals to see who was the fittest athlete alive. It has grown in the past 3 decades into an international competition, pretty awesome. After yesterday, I'm hooked!

We were so excited all day yesterday and today, talking about his race, and looking forward to the San Antonio Rock and Roll Marathon that we're going to do. It feels good for me to have a goal of completing the half (some friends of ours are doing it also) and he has wanted to complete a full for a while now. It's 9 weeks away, I think, and we're fired up! I joined an online trainer that has been really helpful for me, and have been dragging Burly along on all my training. I am not exaggerating when I say dragging, on today's 40- minute jaunt, he tried to/laid down in the shade approximately 10 times! We are both going to get more fit in this season:)

Tonight, Los and I went down the street to the brand new LuLu Lemon outlet (the only one in the States!! It has all their awesome clothing for less money, awesome!) to buy some sweet athletic gear. Motivated by our victories and aspirations, we then promptly went to Wendy's, and got Frosty's and fries. Oh well, you win some, you lose some:)

Love is in the Air

I decided this week that the ‘late-20’s’ season of life is weird, relationship-wize. I now have friends across the spectrum from married for a decade with three kids, all the way to not dating at all. It is weird to graduate from high school and all be relatively in the same place, and then over the currents of a decade to drift to such different destinations. But recently, a lot of new love has taken me by joyous surprise.

Just as all of my perennial buds are starting to burst forth with new growth and exquisite color, new relationships seem to be all around me- is it the spring? People have flown to Seattle this weekend from Nashville, Kansas and Texas to be with the one their hearts long for. I love hearing about new love, it is so sweet. To quote one friend last night, “I have to go buy a sleeping aid, I am too excited to sleep tonight.” Today and the next couple of days, these new couples will be cherishing every touch, every glance, every new memory made. I am glad for their hearts to be so happy. I remember those days with fondness. To those friends, I can't wait to hear how your weekends go!

And while I don’t yearn to go back to that stage myself, I want to make a conscious effort to keep ‘newness’ in my own marriage. If you’re reading this and have been in a relationship a while, I’d love to hear what you do to keep things fresh, and about rituals you have that make your twosome special.

Paris, Je T’aime

I usually don’t write movie reviews, but here’s another one. We just watched Paris, Je T’aime (Here's the trailer) and if you are a Francophile like me (my in-law's just came back from there this week and I can't WAIT to see what they brought back) or just a fan of, or curious about Paris, the city of light and love, you’ll love this movie. It’s shot like postcards, 18 total, by fabulous different directors and casts, each 5-8 minutes long. All around the subject of love. Some of the stories are tragic, some are heart-warming, some are awkward, some are random, some are funny and some are beautiful; all of them are poignant. Great movie.

Thank You, My Love: on Death and Making Good Memories

Today was one of my favorite days at the hospital so far. I met a woman who’s husband was in the ICU, about five minutes before the doctor came in to withdraw his life support. We sat there together, sometimes in silence, sometimes talking, watching him breathe his last breaths. It was a sacred space. I have seen all kinds of addictions and tragedies in the ER and ICU, but nothing has struck me like this woman’s love for her dying husband.

She was simultaneously strong and vulnerable as she shared what the process has been like for her. To see him being relieved of pain brought her joy, but the thought of being without him made her heart feel “so heavy, it’s like my legs won’t be able to support myself.”

They have been married 35 wonderful years. She told me lovely stories of their decades together, including the last words he spoke to her. A week ago, when she took away his dinner tray as she always did, he said, “thank you, my love.” Those are the last words his lips uttered.

Today, as he lay there gasping his last few breaths, she held his thin, frail, purple-skinned hands, and looked at him adoringly. She took a cloth and wet it, then wiped his face. Then she went to her purse and got out a comb, and smoothed out his hair. Small, unnecessary actions, done with such great, lavish love. It makes me think of the last night of Christ’s life, when he washed the feet of the disciples. Unnecessary, and about the last thing I would do if it was my last night on earth; but he chose to serve those he loved.

After a while longer in the room, she decided to go get something to eat in our cafeteria. As I walked her to the elevator, she asked about my marriage. I shared a bit, then thanked her for letting me share such a beautiful and moving last moment with her beloved companion. Before she stepped on to the elevator, she said, “I’ll always have the memories, I’ll carry those with me. Make sure you and Carlos make LOTS of good memories. Save for your retirement too, but go home today and tell him you want to make memories, that’s what life is about.”

Amen. I pray that we and all of our friends can live such lives, FULL of adventures and great memories, so that at the end of our time on earth we can look back on our lives and say, “Thank you, my love.”

What is love?

A group of professional people posed this
question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds,
"What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.
See what you think:
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8


When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4


"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5


Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6


"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4


"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7


"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8


"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7


"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6


"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7


"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6


"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that.I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8


"My mommy loves me more than anybody .
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6


"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5


"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt." Chris - age 7


"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4


"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4


"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7


"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8


And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"