Wedding Vows

Last night we went to a very sweet wedding of Kendall and Andy. We planned our move to TX around this event, and they have been dating 6.5 years (the same amount of time I've known Los), so we have been anticipating this union for a long time. I love Kendall; she adds the spark of life and joy wherever she goes, a unique trait. She is a graphic designer, and the best taste ever, so everything was done stylishly.

But as we drove home, it was the vows that I was thinking a lot about. There is something so beautiful about traditional wedding vows.
"I _____, take you ______, to be my wedded wife/husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness."

We have no idea what we're promising when we say them, usually. The proverbial rubber has yet to meet the road. But when it does, those vows have power to shape how we respond to our spouses. I was thinking about this because the pastor who married them said something like, "Do you accept this person, with all that they are and all that they bring to you?" Of course the proper response is yes; but the cynic in me was sitting there thinking how often is that not true! Most people I know (myself included) wish their spouse was a little more this way, or did a little less of that, or would be perfect "if only..." and what we want to shape them into, is more of our own likeness. This thought was humbling, because the vows say I will embrace our differences, celebrate and encourage them... fostering growth for our partner's best, whatever that might look like; and HOWEVER different that may look than bending to my agenda or my desires. Can any of you relate, or is this just me?

So I was grateful for the call to remember my vows last night, and that is my prayer for you who are married as well. To stand in solidarity with Kendall and Andy as they continue the journey they've been on a long time, yet enter a new commitment to one another was really special. As we journey along our own paths, I hope we all might have that kind of community to walk with, so that our intention to uphold our vows can be supported and lived out, even and especially when the rubber meets the road.

Ethics and sports- mutually exlusive? Since when?

I grew up in a family who worshipped sports above all else, the daily sports page was the Bible by which we lived, breathed and had our being. That’s why I’ve been interested recently, as scandals have crossed the globe in all kinds of sports. From referees game-fixing, to athletes’ use of illegal substances, hardly any organization has clean hands in the matter. ESPN just finished a series of stories this summer, called “Cheatwave,” trying to engage people in the problems of cheating in the past, present and future. With genetic engineers’ current research, it will soon be possible, supposedly, for athletes to be given performance-enhancing genes. Where did the purity and integrity in sport go?
ESPN’s contention was that cheating has become much more commonplace than it was a generation ago, and makes the argument that it will go on until we fans refuse to support it monetarily. However, many people critique the organization, saying that ESPN itself is one reason why sports have become entertainment, and players, stars in our culture, who we exalt to an unhealthy status. Americans love winning, and don’t mind ignoring illegal activity if the scoreboard ends up in their favor.
What was more alarming to me, than fans reactions to the athletes, was the quiz results ESPN posed for readers. Almost 50,000 people over this past weekend filled out an online quiz about their cheating habits, and the results echoed their sentiments toward others. Only 15% of the readers said that they never cheat, and the highest score for something people would never do was a question about parking in a handicapped space. On the contrary, more people said they would cheat on the person they date or their spouse. Our culture has something wrong with it.
ESPN quoted David Callahan, author of the book, The Cheating Culture, who insists that “the integrity that seems to be leaking out of sports simply mirrors the ongoing erosion of ethics in our society.” And readers defending against ESPN’s critique of sport, “noted the questionable ethics of our political, corporate and, in certain cases, religious leaders. They asked who are we to question the integrity of our athletes when we speed on the interstate, cheat on our taxes and falsify our résumés?” Many assume ethics and sport cannot go hand in hand.
I find this issue fascinating, sad, and problematic for multiple reasons. For one, the billions of dollars our country invests in sport could be spent many other, healthy, ways. And I seriously doubt changes to that effect will ever be made. But more importantly, these ‘idols/heroes’ of sport are communicating to youth that it is okay to take short-cuts in life, a dangerous message across the board that says winning is more important than integrity.
In my own family, when I become a mom, as well as in ministry situations with youth, I will try to juxtapose those who cheat with those who have integrity. The maxim that “cheaters never win” certainly isn’t true in the short-run, so I will try to focus on the long-view of life. I imagine this will be something challenging we’ll face the rest of our lives, as the advantages one can gain from cheating, in any circumstance, can be enticing and deceiving, though wrong.