Last night we went to a very sweet wedding of Kendall and Andy. We planned our move to TX around this event, and they have been dating 6.5 years (the same amount of time I've known Los), so we have been anticipating this union for a long time. I love Kendall; she adds the spark of life and joy wherever she goes, a unique trait. She is a graphic designer, and the best taste ever, so everything was done stylishly.
But as we drove home, it was the vows that I was thinking a lot about. There is something so beautiful about traditional wedding vows.
"I _____, take you ______, to be my wedded wife/husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness."
We have no idea what we're promising when we say them, usually. The proverbial rubber has yet to meet the road. But when it does, those vows have power to shape how we respond to our spouses. I was thinking about this because the pastor who married them said something like, "Do you accept this person, with all that they are and all that they bring to you?" Of course the proper response is yes; but the cynic in me was sitting there thinking how often is that not true! Most people I know (myself included) wish their spouse was a little more this way, or did a little less of that, or would be perfect "if only..." and what we want to shape them into, is more of our own likeness. This thought was humbling, because the vows say I will embrace our differences, celebrate and encourage them... fostering growth for our partner's best, whatever that might look like; and HOWEVER different that may look than bending to my agenda or my desires. Can any of you relate, or is this just me?
So I was grateful for the call to remember my vows last night, and that is my prayer for you who are married as well. To stand in solidarity with Kendall and Andy as they continue the journey they've been on a long time, yet enter a new commitment to one another was really special. As we journey along our own paths, I hope we all might have that kind of community to walk with, so that our intention to uphold our vows can be supported and lived out, even and especially when the rubber meets the road.
3 comments:
VERY well said my friend!
What a lovely photo! Every time I hear wedding vows, I think similar thoughts..its a good thing to consider...to remember...
I do think its important to not negate the feminine side of God...the attributes that we as women see ourselves in more clearly... I love it. Leave it to you to stir the pot *grin* you know I love that about you, right?
For and I just went to his cousin's wedding, and being the skeptic I am, I couldn't help but thinking about how slim the chances are that they will actually live up to the vows they made to each other. It is so hard to live outside yourself in that way! It was a great reminder for me, and my wish for them too, to be genuine in pursuing that ideal, Christ-like love for my spouse. I don't know how I would even try without God's grace to help me get over myself =)
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