Thursday, June 25, 2009

Entering the Parent 'Hood

So two weeks after miss Claire Dahlia's birth, I am happy to report that my head is above water. Even without grandparents. I was scared to death of my parents leaving and Los going back to work; but it has gone much better than I thought. Mercifully, Claire sleeps awesome at night, so after my first day solo-parenting; she allowed me 9 (!!!) hours of sleep. In chunks, obviously, but still.. Thank you Jesus! I've been running errands in the afternoon, since Claire isn't so much into her afternoon naps, but a ride in the car or shopping cart/car seat does the trick.

She is becoming quite the porker. After slipping down into the 6lb. range, she gained 2 POUNDS by her two week checkup. That's a 1/3 of her weight, crazy... On the one hand, I'm so happy she's thriving. On the other hand, I'm already getting sad that she's growing so quickly. Before she was born, I used to buy her all these clothes and stare for long periods at her closet, imagining the little girl that would grow into all those outfits. Yesterday, at Target, I bought her a sleeper for a year from now. As I looked at the discrepancy between the NB size, and 12 months size, I got so sad. She's going to get big so soon. My sweet little baby is going to grow up so fast. Now when I look at her closet, I am sad.

All that to say, when 2am and 5am feedings roll around, or she cries, and I am fatigued; I am trying to remember that this season of life is SO SHORT. Before I know it, she won't be nursing; so I should savor the time together... She is so beautiful and so tiny and so soft, and I want to savor this season while it is here; not wish for the next season... How often do we miss the treasures of today, because our sights are set on tomorrow?

Not to paint the picture of perfection, as we've had our low moments the past couple weeks as well, so I'll throw in a fave quote: to a crying Claire, late at night, "I just want you to be happy." Los, "Not me, I just want you to shut up." And to match his humanity, I definitely already dropped an F-bomb. In regards to a two week old. Classy. Low moment. Amazing how someone only 8 pounds can break the will of two grown ups:)

So that's the update for now, pics to follow...

Monday, June 8, 2009

Impending doom, I mean parenthood- AARRRGGGGHHHH MATEY! Walk the plank!

In honor of my mom, who is flying to TX for the 3rd time this year, today (and let's be honest, it won't be the last time, she's fired up to be a grandma, and it's NOT cheap or convenient to get here)- an analogy. My mom lives for metaphors, says approximately 1 per waking minute and can not relate to humans who do not have this capacity. While I harass her for the incessant need to make an analogy out of ev-er-y-thing, truthfully, I love an apt metaphor as much as anyone else. They take intelligence/creativity to form, and when I read one that's spot on in a book, I have the urge to highlight it or fold the corner of the page down. I don't do it, but I have the urge. Anyway, so the metaphor I came up with in bed...

I feel as though I am walking the plank today, off the ship of my life, into the tumultuous and mysterious waters of parenthood beneath. I don't know how to swim. I am afraid I'll drown. I can't see the bottom, the water is murky, unlike pools, which I prefer to ocean (for cleanliness alone- clearly the sand and sound of waves are superior). I know that God, and prayer, and countless hosts of other parents will be lifeboats, life vests, lifeguards, you name it, for us... I'm grateful for that. But it doesn't take away my feeling of fright over the imminent and permanent change. I loved our boat, it was fun, adventurous and safe, not to mention all I've ever known- it has been a good ride the past 30 years. That all changes today. So pray for us as we walk the plank and jump into the unknown adventures that await us. We read Scripture in Claire's nursery and prayed for her and our family last night, we are ready to meet her. So here we go...

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Pregnancy Schizophrenia and Tattoos

When I found out I was pregnant, no one told me not to be attached to my due date. So rather than putting my weight down on June 3 or 5, I even went as far as telling myself Claire was coming in May. Then May ended, and I was bummed. For a pretty superficial reason (I wanted her to be able to bring cupcakes to her classroom and to be sang to on her day), but I was bummed nonetheless.

I'm not sure schizophrenia is the proper term, in fact, it probably isn't; but I have felt like I had a split-personality lately. In week 38 I was positive I wanted to induce 10 days early, as early as the doc would let me:) Then Los and I talked and I took that stance back. It felt a little bit like we were trying to play God to pick her birthdate and force it to be early. "Okay, let's wait to her due date to induce," was plan b... However, when we reached that mark, I had started to lean toward letting Claire stay inside as long as she wanted... After all, what if she's small and needed the extra time to grow? We were hoping for an 8 lb. baby, and she certainly wouldn't have been if we'd taken her out early. That is, if the sonographers were right (she was predicted to be right at 7.5 lbs from her bone measurements).

Now at 41 weeks I don't want to be induced, I am not that uncomfortable and don't mind her hanging out inside a bit longer, but now the OB is saying it's time to get the show on the road. Funny how we've switched places from me asking her and her hesitating to me hesitating at her request:)

This is me at 41 weeks preggo. I never thought I would get to this place, but my due date came and went this past week, and apparently my body and Claire have zero interest in parting ways. Unfortunately for both of them, my doctor does have an interest in us parting ways. So since I have not progressed at all and am almost a week past due, we are going to induce TOMORROW. Woah. I am the highest candidate for a c-section possible, so that is a bummer... Let's hope that my body takes to the stuff it is given and progresses tomorrow night and Tuesday!

So this may be the last post- pre our family expanding... We have had a sweet time together, enjoying all these "extra" days before life as we know it changes... We've slept in, been to movies (UP and The Hangover), we've been out to eat multiple times, I got a pedicure (pink!) and massage, we've organized the crap out of our house (all those projects we were saving for "some day" got done), and we've had fun with Burly at the beach, see below. Also, Los took the first step of his long-time goal of inking himself. He took the monogram Joel designed for our wedding and had it put on his heart. When he first told me about wanting a tattoo, I was super anti, but over the years the idea has grown on me to the point that I was as excited as he was. It looks great and I like how meaningful it is.

Whenever Burly thinks we're leaving somewhere and he has to stay behind, he flops down like this and won't move, it is so funny. Sometimes (if it's on carpet) I literally push him with my feet and he stays flopped over like that.

But he LOVES going to the beach, the water is his favorite thing and he loves to run around like a maniac. We have enjoyed sunsets at the beach a lot lately, knowing that we won't get to do that for a little bit once Claire is here.

So wish us luck, pray for us, and we'll see you on the flip side of parenthood! And p.s. yes, it's legal to park on the beach here, everyone does. And yes, I find that very strange. But there's nowhere else to park!