Grey’s Anatomy vs. My Real Life Hospital

While Los was gone this summer, I caved to the pressure of friends/mother in-law who have long watched Grey’s; I watched all 3 seasons at once! Intense… So when I started my new job as a chaplain (intern) at a hospital this past week, I thought I knew everything☺
Then I took the tour and went in to the E-R for the first time. My heart filled with fear. I have been doing ministry for 7 years, but as I looked at the empty trauma operating rooms, I thought, “who am I to be standing here? Do I have what it takes to walk alongside people in crisis?” I thought the answer was a resounding “NO!” To get away from feeling like an imposter, I had a big consult with my mom (psychologist for 30 years now) who reassured me that I was in fact prepared for this new season in life.
I believed her. Until 14 minutes after I went on-call for the first time. That’s when my pager went off, with a loud BU-DU-BE-DU-BU. I felt frantic. It said there was a double trauma. Not good. I was not expecting it so soon. I wasn’t dressed nicely, didn’t have makeup on, couldn’t think straight, yet I knew I needed to be in the ER in 30 minutes (which is a 30 minute drive away)! Here goes nothing…
Los drove me up there, for moral support, and so I could have time to clear my head. I walked in, was greeted by a nurse screaming at me for being late, then she dumped me into a small room of 15 sobbing people. Uhhhh… what do I do?
What started out as the most awkward situation I could imagine, ended up being a great experience for me. It turns out that my mom was right, and I loved being able to love on broken people who were devastated, and anxious about their loved ones… I thought I might faint at the sight of broken necks/femurs/bashed, bloody faces, etc. but I didn’t. I was strong and confident to support family members who couldn’t be. It was good to know I do have what it takes.
I’m sure this job will stretch/break/redefine me, and I am looking forward to that growth. But, as if to keep me humble, after my first evening of a job well done, right before I left the hospital, I missed a step and fell down stairs in front of other people. That would happen to me. Embarrassing but hilarious, and at least, if I had broken something, I would be in the right place. I am in the right place.