Blessed Chaos and Counseling

I feel like my brain might explode, there’s so much going on in life right now. I don’t think I realized it since it’s just this season of my life, and when you’re in that state, you’re going day by day, and don’t get the bigger perspective; but a pastor I met with last week said that Los and I have so many active components and ambiguities that it is really stressful. With all of Los’ traveling, my school, ordination exams, moving (somewhere?) next summer, contemplating selling our house and pregnancy, and me working at the hospital now (on top of our other investments, friends and family) there’s just so much happening. In a really good way, it’s painful, all of this learning that is happening; but it’s to the point where I’m having a hard time fitting everything new in my brain.
I love being at the hospital, which is stretching me and challenging me. Something that’s very important to me is that my life has integrity, so practicing awareness of ‘resistance’ takes so much work, for introspection and healing. We cannot change other people, we can only change ourselves, so whenever we get upset about something, looking at why that issue pushed our buttons is a hard task!
So Los and I might start doing some counseling, to be set up for success. We have started talking about starting a family, but we’d like to feel as healthy as possible before that, since everyone counsels us that when your family expands, issues can be exacerbated. We don’t really have problems, but we certainly experience ‘resistance’ toward some things the other does or says; I don’t know if it’s possible to ‘fix’ that or not; but we could stand to grow in awareness of the deeper issues which trigger little explosions from time to time. Starting to practice this discipline has taken me off (and others off) any high horse. Now I am noticing flaws, or ‘growing areas,’ all the time! So we’ll see where we go from here? Growth is always good, and even if it’s painful, I am glad for it. It’s certainly not boring!