For some reason, it has taken me a long time to be okay with ‘where I came from.’ I don’t know if any of you have ever felt this, but if so, speak up, I would love to know I am not alone.
Maybe this is a normal coping mechanism, but who knows. When I went to college, I was proud to tell everyone I was from California. I loved growing up there, and had a fabulous experience there. Everyone in Seattle that was from the Northwest would think it was ‘cool’ that I was from CA. But everyone from CA in Seattle would ask the clarifying, “where from?” and when I said Fresno, they would put me down, “oh that place sucks.” That was surprisingly damaging to me, and I learned to feel embarrassed of my hometown, when I hadn’t been previously.
After that I had this compulsion to adopt the Northwest as my ‘home’ and to distance myself from where I grew up. I was kind of ashamed, in a way… Apparently it isn’t as cultured as the Bay Area, and doesn’t have as much fashion as LA, or the beaches of So Cal, nor the green of Tahoe. It is a close drive from everywhere, but doesn’t have much itself. Except it does, the community there is great, and I am thankful for it.
It took me years to embrace what the “Valley” has to offer. Even though there are 500,000 people there, I love the small-town feel, where people know each other. And funny enough, but I love the agriculture, even though people mock it for being farmland. It is humble, and I like that. And they provide most of the nation’s food! On our way to/from San Francisco this weekend, we passed a million wine and table grape vineyards, as well as pomegranate and almond groves, and acres and acres of onions, garlic, melons, hay and alfalfa, among other things. I like that my homeland nourishes the nation, however ungrateful everyone else is.
I finally realized that you don’t have to polarize one place as ‘good’ and another as ‘bad.’ Doing that says more about a weird insecurity/need inside of you, than it reflects on a place. You can appreciate different things about different places, and allow other people to feel open to tell you about what they cherish from their hometown. This summer we had a couple over for dinner, and when I asked the girl where she was from, she mentioned a town in Idaho and seemed embarrassed, as I had been in college. When I asked more, she came alive and was proud of where she grew up, and it was cool to hear her heart. And to finally feel more reconciled in my own…
1 comment:
I think that is just a part of growing up. I've noticed it in both memories of growing up and kids that I talk with. Every adolescent thinks there is simply nothing to do ever in the place that they grow up. Eventually as you grow up you realize that there is a ton of stuff you can do and different nooks and crannies that become your own. Now living here, the kids again tell me there is nothing to do so that's why they get in trouble, when in fact there is tons of stuff to do. I'm always busy exploring something new or going to what I love.
You are not alone, everyone that grows up through adolescent into adulthood (I'm including college in this cause that's the biggest growth you go through) has been there and done that. Then we realize what we have and love it and appreciate it.
it's not Fres-No it's Fres-Yes!
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