If being the parent of a dog is anything like being the parent of a little person, I might need to rethink this whole parenting gig we have coming up the next two decades, because apparently we aren't ready to handle it. I hate bodily fluids. Last night, at our friends' house, we were more engrossed with watching LOST (I hate Ben!!!) and conversation, than paying attention to what Burly was doing. After wearing out their two big dogs, our little porker snuck over and gobbled down who knows how much of their dogs' food. At one or two points I said, "hey, I think Burly's eating?" But neither of us did anything about it... He was a little maniac on the walk home (Gabe and Meredith live at the end of our street) and we thought Burly would be fine all night, since he pooped and peed on the walk. Not so. When Los woke up this morning, Burly had pooped in our bathroom. We scolded him, and he looked repentant, so we thought it was over. I laid in bed feeling guilty that we had punished him when really it was our fault that we hadn't taken away the opportunity for him to eat last night. We talked about it, and I went back to bed. Not before joking, though, that if he ever pooped in our closet, I would sell him to the gypsies.
Two hours later, Burly gave me my chance. When I woke up again, he had decided that pooping on our Italian tile and white bath mat just wasn't enough. So he pooped on Los' side of the closet carpet as well. What a guy! I was furious. 3 times in one night! AFTER going outside twice?! Who does that? Not our angelic practically-perfect-in-every-way dog. I contemplated feeding him to the local coyotes or my previous threat of selling him to the gypsies for at least 5 minutes before deciding to forgive him and making up. When I took him outside this morning he promptly went again, so I guess he'd been showing restraint inside?? I don't know how such a little dog can poop so many times in 12 hours, but... what can I say, he's a pro.
On a completely other note, yesterday our birth coach came over and showed us two videos of natural childbirths. WAY graphic compared to any romantic notion we'd previously held. What ever happened to the stork- I just want a clean bundle of joy delivered to me?! Looking at cute baby girl clothes and picking out nursery furniture is stuff I can do. Stuff I like doing. But watching women sans medicine in painful labor for hours- rough. I don't know if I have what it takes for that! As much as we would prefer to go without meds, we felt queasy watching the pain that these strange women (whom we now have seen every (awkward!) body part of) were in as they went through labor. We both teared up watching the actual birth, that was just amazing. But lest we get too sentimental, then came the most disgusting thing ever, the "birth of the placenta." Cue gagging sounds, that was nasty... And our birth coach said, "yeah, in some cultures people EAT the placenta or at least bury it." We looked at each other in horror and silently agreed that when that day comes, the doctor can just go ahead and pitch ours in the trash asap! No thanks.
Which brings me to this morning and pulled pork. With my recent acquisition of a Southern Living magazine subscription, I have become more and more of a southern chef by the month. Today I was man-handling 7 lbs. of pork to put in the slow cooker when gross pig blood got all over my white (of course) tank top. This finalized my whole-hearted disgust in blood and every other bodily fluid. I have had enough of them for one 24 hour period, thank you very much. Just for the record, I hereby renounce any further career ambitions to be a surgeon or butcher:) I am preaching the first sermon of Lent this Sunday, and last Sunday I preached on Hebrews 7 and how Christ is the once for all priest and sacrifice. I have never been more grateful to live in a time period without animal sacrifice and the blood, guts and smell therein than in the past 24 hours:) Yet one more reason to be thankful for the Cross. On that note, happy Lent everyone.
7 comments:
That cracks me up about Burly! We had something like that happen with our dear little cat Samson... it's just not fun.
I'll tell you what though, I have the same sentiments about body fluids and constantly wonder "how am I going to do this?" I think when that lil' bundle of joy comes, (covered in birthing fluid and everything else), we'll just know. Well, at least that is what I'm hoping. lol.
I can't believe you guys were even thinking about going all natural. Yikes. Maybe because my parents are doctors I have a different perspective on medicine.. but when people ask me about "going natural" I just show them my arm and say "hook me up." ;-)
So where are you guys registering? I'm curious to see what kinda stuff you guys are getting. . .
What a day you had gal! So, I'm hoping I can get through the birthing classes without watching any birthing videos. I can't take it. I nearly lost my dinner reading about the "placenta birth" especially as it segued into the bloody pork situation. :-)
Maggie, what kind of docs are your parental units, and what have they said to you? I hope you're right and that on that day, we'll be totally into it and not as disgusted as I have been:)
We can do it!
Welcome to the real world! Being a parent is a rewarding but sometimes(really a lot of the times) challenging job. Remember what my mom said, consistent and persistent. Who knew Burly had it in him! Did he cry or give you any warning? You guys do have what it takes. It is amazing what you overcome as a parent. And I still cry at watching a child birth!
My parents are in pain management--go figure. My Step-Dad is/was an anesthesiologist; he worked at Swedish and at Overlake Hospital in Bellevue. My mother is an ARNP with a Master's in Nursing who has spent the last twenty-five years working with patients with chronic pain.
They only that they have said to me specifically about child birthing is that they just don't get people who want to have a natural birth; especially when pain management in child birth is so safe and widely used.
It's hard to say that they aren't completely bias....After all they are pretty much pill-pushers: "There's medicine for everything" kind of attitude. But I trust them and they know my OBGYN doc so, I feel like I'm in good hands.
The birthing process is, in essence, absolutely disgusting...whether you use medication or not. Regardless of the pain/disgust/placenta issue, you'll forget it all QUICKLY! If not, none of us would have more than one kid. It's so worth it!!! And, btw, the scientist in me LOVED seeing the placenta. I looked at it with both girls and with a friend that I was a birth coach for! It's facinating. Your body GREW AN ENTIRE ORGAN to support that kid. It was too cool NOT to check it out. Keep "practicing" with Burly.
Emo, you make us laugh! And your fascination is not surprising to me in the slightest. Maybe I will end up interested in it, but that's hard to imagine:)
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