Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Where I've been...

Thanks to those of you that have called and emailed while I've been in my depressed/lonely/miserable/complaining/no fun state.  I think I'm growing, which is the good news.  It's just too bad that you can't grow without growing pains.  I've been spending more time than usual reading Scripture, which is a funny thing.  Why do we cry out to God more earnestly when in pain?  I've been reading Exodus (which in Greek is literally The Way Out, or the Road Out), which is what I've been looking for...
God does not just save us from sin, death and Satan, but God saves us from ourselves.  That's a truth I've needed to be reminded of, as I've been quite 'self'-focused the past few weeks, saying "woe is me."  The silly Israelites hadn't been out of captivity for a whole week when they started idealizing the past and saying, "wasn't it better when we were back in Egypt?"  It's embarrassing how much I relate to them, knowing that God offers me freedom today, but turning instead to the past, and turning inward, and missing the point.
In Exodus 15 God makes bitter water sweet, and I am praying that God will make the bitter parts of me sweet.  I've been complaining a lot, and rather than learning from  it, I sound like a broken record.  I think there's a valid time and place for complaints, but to turn into a broken record of habitual grumbling, as the Israelites did is not a pattern I want in my life.  Scripture says God is our healer, so I am asking God to make me new.  I'm certainly not there yet, but I'm at least aware of my need for growth.
What about you all?  Have you seen habits like this in your lives? How do you get out of ruts?

2 comments:

Beth said...

Casey, I'm so sorry this time is a rough one for you. I know we all have them, but that doesn't ever make it any easier! I know it goes along the same lines of what you were saying, but I think one of the things that always snaps me out of "a rut" is to get out there and do something for someone else. It takes my mind off of me, or my current situation and puts the focus on bettering someone elses life and situation, which always seems to put things into perspective for me. I hope things are rapidly improving for you. And, I also wanted to tell you that I'm not sure how many people you already know in C.C., but one of my friends from Jacksonville and her husband who are both super fun live there and I would love to give her your info. if you're interested! :)

Case and Los said...

Beth, I'd love to meet your friends! And I agree, that service and 'getting out there' is absolutely what I've needed to do. I'm starting to. Thanks for the prayers, things are most assuredly looking up:)