"Stay at Home" Moms/Dads

5 years ago, when I was a big idiot, I asked my boss an un-thought out question. (not much has changed, unfortunately, I constantly: 1. Open mouth and 2. Insert foot) This is a chronic issue with me, this speaking before I think... In any case, his wife is one of those annoying combos of brilliant, beautiful and as gracious as can be. Lovely woman. Capable of anything, she even got straight A's I think all the way through schooling, kindergarten-college, except for one B, or something crazy like that. SO, in my stupidity, I thought, "if she is used to achieving, then clearly she would want to have a job, staying at home raising kids must be like, a temporary setback..." And I asked, "So, does she ever feel sad that she's not working?" I can remember his response as clear as day. At first I thought he was mad, but then I realized it was more an are-you-completely-clueless-Casey?! kind of response. He urged me never to voice that kind of question to a stay at home mom.

Well, I didn't. But I didn't understand why until now. Since many of our friends have begun having kids, I am watching them navigate the tricky waters of employment outside the house and paying for child care. I am realizing how most moms would give their right arm to be able to stay home with their babies during those first few formative years that they can never get back. Witnessing all of the "firsts": first smile, roll over, crawl, stand/walk, word, sentence, potty training (man, this is a big one!!), etc. It seems to rip their hearts out, to go to work, and entrust a stranger with protecting/stewarding their little ones. Our friends struggle to figure out how they can adjust their lifestyle/income so that one of them (usually the mom, though I know some awesome stay at home dads) can be home with the kid(s). Even if one can only work 1/2 time, that seems like a partial victory.

And wow, is staying at home ever work! For my friends that can stay home, the last thing I would call that is leisure, they're constantly doing stuff! Nursing and napping schedules stress me out, and I don't even have to do them! Add to that all the in-and-out of cars and stores and social dynamics with other kids, and teaching times (letters, colors, dumptrucks/race cars, toys and tantrums and laundry and snacks at home... Let alone the struggles added when parents take on adoption! Balancing structure and freedom, discipline and creativity, safety and adventure, it's enough to make me want to take a nap! AND parents don't even get to sleep as much as I do, OR have as much time to do WHATEVER I WANT ALL THE TIME.... Sacrifice. They know the meaning of sacrifice in a way that I definitely do not yet.

So I hereby repent for any of my idiotic thinking of 5 years ago, stay-at-home parents, you are amazing to me. Nothing short of an every day hero. You who invest in the character of your kids are making this world a better place one person at a time. Thank you.