Shoulders, Burdens and Jesus

What was the deal with Atlas anyway? Trying to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders; what a waste of effort and energy- that is not how we are made. My shoulders are small. God’s shoulders are big. I hardly have enough time and energy to carry around my own burdens, let alone anyone else’s.

So why, then, do I try to be perfect at times? Why do I think it is up to me? Why do I blame myself if a situation doesn’t go perfectly? That’s kind of self-centered and arrogant. Why do I feel anxiety and beat myself up before a situation even happens, thinking that I might not do well enough? Even when it does go well, and people praise me for it, why do I discount their opinions? Why do I listen to the lie that if people are kind to me, it’s because they don’t know the real me, and if they did, they would see I am a fraud. Why do I polarize things into the unrealistic and unhelpful categories of black and white, perfect or failure, strength or weakness, good or bad? This is a lose-lose situation where I don’t set myself up for success. All I set myself up for is an impossibly heavy load on my incapable shoulders.

Control. Apparently all of this is about control, and apparently I want to be the arbiter of my own reality. That is silly. Laughable, even. In my right mind, I would NOT want the weight of the world on my shoulders. I wouldn’t even want the weight of my own problems, really. Carrying them is exhausting. And ridiculous. Unnecessary. Jesus said that his yoke was easy and his burden was light. A good trade if you ask me. Give him the big stuff. He is more equipped to handle it anyway, being God and all that...

Proportions. My friend said that we get our proportions backwards. We think, “the demands on me, the questions, doubts, and fears I have, the things I have to do are all so stressful and BIG.” And we make God out to be small. When in reality, the converse is true. GOD is big, and all of the competing things that steal our joy and time are small. I want to rest in truth and be freed from burdens. I want to remember that though my shoulders are small, God’s are big. That allows me to experience grace. Then I, in turn, can offer grace to others. And invite authenticity. There is no condemnation for those in Christ, there is grace, there is peace. And that feels a lot better than a heavy load on my shoulders.