I’m not a very patriotic person, in general. Sure I love my country, and I went to some 4th of July parades in my youth, and I’ve been proud when the U.S. did well in the Olympics; but Nationalism seems off-putting to me. When people think the States are right about everything, I want to immediately pack their bags for them and send them on an extended international trip to get some perspective. We aren’t perfect. We have hurt people. Forget the past tense, we do hurt people. We are the largest Arms dealer in the world- that’s not a good thing. For all of the blessed good in the U.S., there’s the equally ugly, embarrassing side that we all too frequently ignore.
I am trying to move away from the polarization I naturally do, and I’m attempting to hold both the good and the bad pieces at once. Save for examples like Howard Zinn’s book, history books are generally written from the winners’ perspective. But for those in power, there’s an equal story from those on the underside of power. It is hard for me to hold both sides in tension, but D.C. is the best place I can think of to wrestle with these issues. D.C. has an uncanny mix of both the best our nation has to offer and the worst.
I felt more patriotic even before I stepped foot in this city. Just being on the plane, I was aware that people around me were important, and doing interesting things with research and policies, living for something bigger than their own existences. On the one hand, D.C. is an extraordinary place. To see the sun setting on the Washington Monument, or watch it and the others lit up at night is breathtaking. I am only used to seeing such structural beauty in other countries. And even though I’m clueless about the content of their discussions, I imagine the material beauty I see pales in comparison to the great minds of the world, who meet here regularly.
On the other hand, I am aware that D.C. is a place of great pain. This morning at breakfast, we had a long conversation with Keandra, a local African-American. She shared how racism is still alive and well, something she encounters daily. She recounted various inter-racial conflicts. It goes so far that the Ethiopians and other black Africans here are prejudiced against the black Americans, thinking they are lazy and good for nothing. Shocking. She spoke of the drugs and violence and gangs tearing down youth here, and how the schools are literally falling apart. How devastating, that the town in which our President lives, and proclaims “no child be left behind” has thousands of children which are just that.
Even though it is uncomfortable, I am grateful for this chance to wrestle. It’s not neat and tidy, but it’s raw, it’s real. Rather than idealize this place, living the high life for a couple of days in Du Pont Circle, and then going on my merry way, I am glad Keandra shared what struggles this city has. It is good and bad, it is strength and weakness, it is light and dark- and it is important for me, for us, to be aware, and able to hold both together. That reconciliation makes me feel more patriotic.
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