1) In the beginning: 5 years ago, almost to date, as I began seminary, I wrote this poem. It is a reflection on the gospel of John and my prayer for myself as well as for all seminarians as we journey through this chapter of life.
Clear Paradox
Unfathomable, yet made known
Glorious, yet made visible
Eternal, yet entered time
Who are you?
Mighty, yet came as a baby
Powerful, yet humble
Just, yet gracious
Who are you?
Most high, yet descended
Killed, yet ascended
Tender, yet stern
Who are you?
Always steady, yet always new
Consecrated, yet compassionate
Wildly imaginative, yet simple
Who are you?
Light-shiner, temple-cleanser, world-saver, thirst-quencher,
bondage-breaker, food-provider, humanity-teacher, dignity-restorer,
eye-opener, shelter-giver, dead-raiser, feet-washer, heart-consoler, life-sustainer,
joy-lavisher, the ultimate intercessor,
and our King!
Oh sight-giver,
May we see,
Who You are.
“Who are you?” they asked.
“Just what I have been claiming all along,” Jesus replied.
(John 8:25)
2) In the past 5 years, some of my questions about theological matters have been answered, but I have more questions now. Jesus and the Kingdom of God in all things are more expansive concepts than I’d known previously. I now realize I’ll never know it all, but seminary has taught me how to be a life-long learner.
3) During seminary God has taught me not only to expand my view of the things of God but also my view of myself and my abilities. I used to pray the prayer, “God, what do you want me to do with the rest of my life?” I entered seminary as an act of obedience, but I used to not understand how I could fit into God’s church as a leader with my varied past and unpredictable future. If I were a pro athlete, I wouldn’t have very consistent stats. Even in seminary, I have lived in 3 corners of this country, been to many states in between and 4 other continents.
This cohort is the only thing that has kept me rooted (physically) in the past 3 years, and I am grateful. So it is no surprise (in hindsight) that it was during a homework assignment for one of our classes that I heard God tell me that in becoming a pastor all of the seeming disjointed chapters of my life could come together. They have congruence.
What is your story? Do the chapters seem random? Accidental? Or purposeful? When you have some time to reflect, I’d encourage you all to see how God may be binding together those chapters and the present with integrity, with a thread of congruence, to give you a glimpse of your future.
4) Now: this is the last ½ hour of my time as a student at Fuller Northwest. This week I was in the library, and I had a funny moment with God. I appreciated the irony that after 5 years of graduate education, and maybe 500 books I’ve checked out from the library, the last book I needed, was a Narnia tale from C.S. Lewis. I went to the PZ section, and it wasn’t there; so I looked at the reference number again, and found that the book, my last seminary book, was in the youth section. And I felt like God was telling me, “remember that with all you now know, you also need to stay like a child.”
If you haven’t read these by now, I don’t feel bad ruining the ending for you, since you’ve had 50 years to read them. There is an analogy of Narnia as they had known it, which is like looking into a mirror to see something, versus experiencing the real Narnia which has such a deeper, vast beauty. Lewis contrasts what the characters thought would be this small, dark stable, with an expansive land full of light and life.
Aslan invites everyone to, “come further in and come further up!”
“I see,” Lucy said at last, thoughtfully. “I see now. This garden is like the stable. It is far bigger inside than it was outside.”
“Of course, Daughter of Eve,” said the Faun. “The further up and the further in you go, the bigger everything gets. The inside is larger than the outside.”
That’s what seminary has been for me. Like Lucy, it has enabled me to see. And the “further up and further in” I’ve journeyed, the more expansive the Kingdom has become, and I am grateful. I hope you have a similar experience in your own journeys with God and in your classes with each other.
1 comment:
Beautiful and thought provoking Casey. I really enjoyed reading this entry.
I love it when God reminds us that we are His children...
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